A Perfect Match Ch 13 Remember When?
by Lucy917
Summary: He hasn't set his eyes on her in almost five years, but the pain of what he lost still lingers in the household, and especially his daughter. Carter relives his life with his true love. Chapter 13: A pretty fluffy chapter of prewedding jitters.
1. Starting It All Over Again

Author's Note(s): Well, here we go! I called this fiction, "A Perfect Match" because…well I'll tell ya next chapter. Anyways, as I'm posting this, I already have up to chapter 33 completed, and I started writing this around May 2004. Only because, if you've read any of my other work, you know how long it takes me to update, so this gives me a a many chapter head start. Well this is going to be a long fan fiction, I'm warning you now. Also, this is unlike a lot of long romance fictions, this starts out at a very slow pace, and doesn't get really really exciting until well chapter seventeen. (Please hang in there.) But, with this fiction, you're following this couple through everything. Through dates, and stupid little fights, to just cute stuff that couples do. And I'm rating it M because of language and some sexual context and also because I have no idea what's to come out of my sleeve in later chapters. But I'm not a porn writter...sorry. :( Well, like most of my fictions, it involves an extreme tragedy. But this one also has, a whole hunk of romance, angst because isn't that the most fun to write, oh and drama…because it is ER. Oh, and one more thing: to really see this fan fiction, imagine Tessa Allen playing Bridget (With just one little change). And not only because of her extreme adorableness in Enough, but also because I think she looks just like the daughter of these two characters. Ok I lied, now one more thing: Now, it would make sense for the first flashback (next chapter) to occur during the summer between season six and seven. But if that were the case, Susan wouldn't be there (and don't we all just LOVE her?). So, it doesn't really take place during any season. I just throw my favorite characters in whenever I need them, because this is my fanfiction.

Credits: Parts of this fiction were basically co-written by my best friend Jules, we role-played this so long ago. And my editor, and beta, Mini (Anti-social-Turtle.) I can't thank either of you enough for helping me write this. I love you two!

Disclaimer: I don't own ER; I don't own Tessa Allen, any of the characters from ER, or any of the songs mentioned in these chapters.

A Perfect Match—

The story of true love.—

Ch 1. Starting It All Over Again

Bridget walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. She stood there for a little while watching as her dad scribbled and signed over his checks and checkbooks, she rested her head against the wall and took a deep breath before she continued her voyage to her father.

As Carter was simply doing the monthly duty of checks and balances, he felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned around,

"Hey Bridg, your TV show over already?"

She shrugged and squeezed between her father's chair and the table and sat on his lap. Flipping through the checkbook and the letters she asked, "Whatcha' doin?'"

"Bills," he grunted and added some numbers on a calculator.

"Well is it fun?" She asked, her startling eyes sparkled.

"No," he laughed and kissed the top of her head, "You hungry?"

Again, she shrugged.

Carter watched her daughter's reaction. She was always hungry for a snack around this time, and she just didn't seem like herself, "Bridg, honey are you okay?"

"I dunno," her mind was distracted as she fiddled with the button on Carter's shirt.

Carter picked her up and put her on the table in front of him. Her legs were hanging off and her face not even looking at his. "Bridget, what are you thinking about?" He took his girl's soft, small hands in his and searched her face for a reaction.

She cleared her throat and looked into her dad's eyes, "Since Sunday is Mother's Day, we're supposed to bring our mothers to school on Friday." Her eyes began to glisten with tears.

A shot of pain slammed through Carter's heart as he saw his daughter hurt like this, "Oh Bridg…" He kissed her hand and then pulled her back down onto his lap.

"My teacher said I could bring a picture of mommy in…and talk about her," her fingers were again, playing with Carter's button.

The widower stroked his daughter's hair and picked her up, "The let's go find a great picture of mommy, okay?" He walked up the stairs and into his bedroom, where Bridget was laid on the bed while her father walked over to his nightstand and picked up pictures.

"This one," he started, as he handed the precious picture carefully outlined in a gold frame down to Bridget, "This was your mother and I a few days after our engagement was announced."

"What's an engagement?" she asked confused as she looked at the picture.

"It's uh, like when people say they are going to get married."

She smiled and studied the picture, "You guys look really, really, happy."

Carter cleared his throat and laid another one on the bed, "This is our wedding day."

Bridget's eyes widened and sparkled as a smile grew along her lips, "She looks soooo pretty, daddy."

"I know," he looked down into the picture and traced his finger across his wife's face, "She took my breath away that day you know? "

"I like her dress."

Carter smiled, "Me too." And again he went looking through the pictures on his bed stand, "This may be one of my favorites," he sat on the bed and placed Bridget in his lap as he held onto the picture.

"Is that me!" She asked as if she hadn't seen the picture a thousand times before.

"That is you, your mother, and I, the first day you were born."

"Wow…" she said still completely zoned into it, "Dad, she looks like she was crying!"

"She was," he said remembering when that picture was taken. "She was so happy to see you Bridget; so happy to be your mother. She really loved you."

The little girl's eyes welled up with tears; she always knew how bad it sucked that her mom was dead. Her best friend, Angela always had her hair braided her curled or really pretty…something that her mom did every morning, and Bridget couldn't have done. Bridget was six, and had to do her own hair. Sometimes her dad would try but it never looked right. Angela's mom always came to ballet class too. Her mom would even help her with steps. Her nails too, and even her clothes, everything was so great for her just because she had a mother. It wasn't fair.

"Oh this is another great picture," Carter's voice interrupted Bridget's thoughts. She wiped her eyes and saw another picture come into her vision.

"This is whenever you crawled all by yourself."

Little laughs came from Bridget's mouth.

The picture showed a little dark haired girl, lying on the floor and her mother lying next to her as they both smiled into the camera.

"I was still a baby!" Bridget exclaimed.

"Yeah you were," he set the last picture on the bed next to the others and looked at them all. "I have more if you don't like any of these but, these are my favorites."

Bridget pointed to the one of whenever she first crawled "I like that one."

John put the rest of the pictures away and smiled, "Me too. But try your very hardest to be careful with it. okay?"

"I swear," she laid on her stomach, placing her weight upon her elbows and stared at the photograph.

"You sure your not hungry babe?" He stood up and stretched.

Tears fell down from the little girl's eyes, traveled down her cheeks, onto her chin, and onto the bed, "No thanks dad."

He sighed and sat back in bed with her and rubbed her back, "I'm sorry Bridget. If I could have one wish it would be for your mom to come back." Bridget always talked or asked about her mommy. And Carter hated it. With each time the word "mom" was said, Carter could feel his eyes pain from tears and his heart ached to be with her again.

"Me too." She rolled on her back and looked at Carter, "You miss her daddy?"

"Everyday."

"No I mean," she sat up and looked at him, face still tearstained, "You still cry at night time."

"You hear me?"

"Sometimes…" she took her fathers hand and traced her finger over his wedding ring, "Did mommy give this to you?"

Carter smiled, "Yes she did, on our wedding day." He decided to let her go, ask questions, talk about her. Mother's day was coming up, and he didn't know what else to do.

"If you miss her so much…. Why don't you talk about her?"

Carter sighed. It was common for her…or any 6 year old to jump from topic to topic, but he didn't know she cracked his code, "I think about her, everyday. And I miss her, everyday. But because I miss her so much, it hurts to talk about her." His throat felt with a lump and his eyes pierced with tears.

"Will you tell me about her? So I have something to talk about at school…"

Carter rubbed his eyes to prevent the tears from becoming so obvious, "Yeah… what do you want to know?"

"Everything!" her eyes lit up and stood on the bed and questions began to blurt out, "Was it love at first sight!"

Carter laughed, "No, not every story is like Cinderella. We actually didn't like each other very much at first."

"Na uh," she smiled, not believing.

"Ya huh," he winked back at her.

"Well that's boring, when did you start to like her? I mean like like her."

Carter smiled and rested his head against the headboard of his bed, "I guess her graduation day… or maybe when she first came back to work after her summer off… I'm not really sure Bridg."

"Tell me both then!"

Carter laughed, "It's going to be a long night huh?"

She smiled and nodded as she rested comfortably next to her father.

And the story began.


	2. Dr Lucy Knight

Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: Okay I guess it's safe to say now. "A Perfect Match" was the original name for "The Good Fight." Sorry I didn't update Friday, I was at a conference all weekend. Well anyways, if you're like me, you probably are completly not excepting ER Thursday and next week, so won't be into reading any of those fictions. I'm with ya there. So, r&r&r (read, relax, review)

Ch 2. Dr. Lucy Knight

.:Many Many Years Ago:.

Carter stood at the back of Lucy's graduation hall; he watched her laugh with her friends and her mother, who seemed so proud of her girl. He noted the present table, Carter hoped he could get there, and get out without Lucy noticing her. As he started to walk over, of course Lucy's blue blue eyes met with his. He smiled and nodded a hello as he began to walk out.

"Wait, Dr. Carter!" He heard yell behind him and he turned around.

"Hey, I didn't want to disturb you or anything, just uh…" he was lost. There was something about her today; maybe it was her eyes sparkling. Or the fact that now, she wasn't a little med student; she was a doctor.

"I wanted to see you, I didn't get to yesterday."

"Yeah… I was off," he shrugged and smiled a little.

Lucy responded to his smile with one of hers.

"So what are you planning on doing this summer?" Carter asked as he realized how weird it would be without Lucy treading the halls of the ER.

"A couple of my friends and myself are renting a cabin in Florida," she laughed a little, "Nothing but relaxing and working on my tan."

"That sounds like heaven after how hard you've been working for the past what? Twenty six years?" He looked at her as her eyes drifted to, and set upon the floor.

"Thanks, Carter," she said as her eyes met his, "I wouldn't…." She stuttered, "I know we had our times, but you definitely made it all worth while." Her soft pink lips grew a smile.

"How so?"

"Well look! Me here! Dr. Knight, intern at psyche in a few months… I owe you."

"I didn't do it Luce, you did, not me."

Lucy's smile grew and her eyes sparkled more making her, if possible, more beautiful. "So I guess I'll see you in a few months…"

"Yes you will, Dr. Knight."

She reached her arms up and wrapped them around his shoulder as she stood on her tippy-toes. Carter also put his arms around her back and rubbed it gently. He smiled and took a deep breath of her coconut smelling hair as he enjoyed this hug like no other before.

Backing away she smiled at Carter, "See ya." And with that she backed away and went back to her party. She knew Carter had a shift.

Carter stood back, watched Lucy for a little, and then winked at her as he backed away into his jeep.


	3. Beautiful Stranger

Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: Thanks to my crazy family I wasn't able to update Friday and yesterday wasn't working. But here I am! Updating for you, just incase you were way to depressed to read a finale fic (like me.) Well, anyways, I was talking to editor and she was complaining because she only got 20 reviews. I know, bo freaking ho. But I really like reviews. Thanks to LucyBethFan1 for a whopping 2/3 of my reviews, and to K-Daawg for the rest. Also, I promise you guys, I'm so farther ahead of this fic in you guys, it's almost painful to go back and read how boring this is. It gets so much better, promise.

Ch 3. Beautiful Stranger

.:A Few Months Later:.

"Randi, where the hell are the booklets for the new interns!" Asked Carter as the tossed papers all around the admit area.

"Do I look like I have time to figure that out!"

"Here the are!" He said picking up a packet of them and waving them in Randi's face, "Whenever you have a chance call psyche again! It's like attack of the lonely depressed guys today." He sighed, taking the packets and tossing them to the interns. As he was giving them the grand tour he walked past what almost looked like the little med student he used to take care of. He did a double take and turned around.

"Lucy!"

The girl, whom he thought, might be this med student spun around and with a small smile walked over to Carter, "Hey there."

Carter looked her over and over again. Not Lucy no. But it had to be. Those were the same blue, twinkling eyes, and that some blonde hair but she was different. Well like she said she did work on that tan, but back to her hair, it was cut. A lot of it. It was flipped out and streaks of a darker blonde highlighted it down to her chin. "Lucy! Doesn't even look like you!"

"You don't like it! Ugh!" She picked up a piece and looked at it, "I knew I shouldn't have got it cut!"

"No, no, Luce, you look great! Just uh different," He shrugged and smiled at her, "So how the first day, doctor?

"Ahh don't ask! If you ER doctors would stop paging me every three seconds I could get some work done."

"Wow, first day and you're telling me off already, I better watch my back."

Lucy sighed and walked down the halls with Carter at her side, "Sorry!" She said in between laughs, "But I have to baby-sit the bipolars upstairs so if you could keep it necessary only…well it would make me happy." She stopped and turned to Carter with a small, pleading smile.

"Ok ok, but learn to be here when I need you, oh and there's a patient I need a great council for…"

Sighing she took the chart, "Ok let me go be a psychiatrist."

.:About 10 Minutes Later:.

John and Lucy walked out of the room.

"Guess what! I'm going to recommend we admit him for you!" She said signing a chart.

"Wow and I thought you didn't have much power as an intern." He said talking a gulp of his coffee and swallowing it.

She rolled her eyes as Carter continued.

"So are you on tonight?" Avoiding a spinning gurney he asked.

"No… why?" She asked him confused.

"I just wanted to see if didn't have any dinner plans…well I could make some for you," He stuttered out and looked into Lucy's questionable face. 'Oh my god,' He thought, 'make them for you'! Ugh!

"Umm yeah that actually sounds great," She replied pleased, "What time?"

"Just meet me down here when you're ready, I'm not going anywhere," He playfully hit a chart across her shoulder as he walked into admit and she walked upstairs.


	4. The First of Many

Disclaimer in first chapter-

Ch 4. The First Of Many

.:Later that day:.

"Has Lucy been down yet?" Asked Carter as he began to pace by the elevator.

"I haven't seen her," Susan Lewis responded with a smile, "You like her!"

"It's her first day as an intern, she'll be happy to go out and have fun," Carter defended.

"Right, well I'd be an intern any day with treatment like that," She said winking then and walking away.

About a half of an hour passed before he saw that beautiful blonde make her way off the elevator, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Patients wouldn't take their meds, one even tried to bite me!"

Carter laughed, "You're the one that signed up for psyche not me," He took her coat out of her arms and over her shoulders.

Excited and almost bouncing, she asked, "So where are we going!"

"Uh…" he held the door opened for her and they walked out into the chilly air, "Dinner and a movie?"

"Sounds great!"

And with that they went on the first date…of many dates.

.:Later That Same Night:.

Sounds of hysterical laughter filled the jeep, "Oh my god! That was the worst movie I ever saw," she said still trying to catch her breath from laughing.

Carter laughed with her, "And of all the movies that were left-"

Lucy continued his sentence, "We get stuck with the old naked lady one…Calendar Girls."

Carter shook his head, "You know you liked it."

"Yeah John, you're right the reason I went into psyche was to be flashed by old naked ladies, man you DO know me so well," She responded sarcastically.

Carter laughed and looked over at her, her laughter was beautiful to match every other single feature of her. "But the food wasn't so bad now was it?"

"No, no, you sure do know how to pick a good pizza joint. Oh turn here," she instructed Carter.

He turned and saw a huge, crummy apartment building, "Oh please don't tell me I'm dropping you off here…"

"Ha! I need my pepper spray just when I walk down this road, make a left first building on the right."

He did as told, walked around to Lucy's door and opened it for her.

"Thanks," She responded politely and stepped to her doorstep with Carter not so far behind her.

Carter looked into her eyes and smiled, "Well aside from the old naked lady boobs, I had a great time."

Lucy smiled, "Are you kidding? That was the highlight of my night."

"So," he fiddled with his hands and looked at her, "What are you doing this Friday?"

"Working," she said getting out her keys and opening her door.

"Saturday?"

Lucy smiled, "Still working"

"Sunday, come on you have to meet me half way here Luce."

"Pulling a double. Listen, I don't think I can make it through my internship and going out every night."

"Not every night, that's too much Lucy for even me to handle," He teased. "But do you want to go out again?"

Lucy nodded and blushed, "Yeah, it was really great."

"Ok then, you have my home, work, and pager number, so just call whenever, okay Luce?"

"I won't blow you off just yet," she responded with a wink.

"Good," He bent over and kissed her cheek, she put her hands on her shoulders and kissed his lips.

Carter opened his eyes, seeing Lucy's looking closely back into his made him forget everything in life that had ever bothered him about her. Everything in life, but this moment.

Lucy's cheeks turned pinker and she pressed her lips together and let go of Carter's shoulders, "I better get inside," She said licking her lips.

"Yeah it's cold," He held the door open and watched her go inside, she turned around in the middle of the stairs and smiled, "Thanks Carter, have a great night!"

He watched her for a little more, "Sweet dreams Lucy Knight."

He walked to his car, smiling and happier then he ever remembered. Lucy was right; he was going to have a great night!


	5. Our First Noel

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: My Internet was broken for the longest time. And yes, I can only imagine the amount of heartbreak all my readers have. Well, sorry about the delay. And here we go……

Ch 5. Our First Noel

.:Christmas Eve Night:.

Months have passed, now the whole hospital knew about, "Carter and Lucy" (and not just in exam 6) they have been seeing each other when they can, a date at least once a week, and stolen kisses in the hallway. But nothing serious, nothing until their first Christmas.

Carter snuck into Lucy's apartment on his way to work. He had to be in, for the night shift and 11, it was 10:24, and he was pulling a double. Lucy has pulled a double the night before. She was exhausted, but Carter wanted to give Lucy her gift tonight. He slowly made his way up the stairs and quietly found Lucy's hidden key. He opened the door and looked around the peaceful, warm environment. He paused and took it all in, he wanted to be the way to lay with Lucy in bed, in a surrounding like this. He peeked under her small, plastic tree and saw a rectangular box marked for himself. He continued to tiptoe into her bedroom. There she was, Lucy Knight, breathing softly and slowly, he walked over and sat on the foot of the bed. He pulled jingle bells out of his pocket and began to ring them, softly, then louder.

Lucy stirred and rolled over, pulling the blankets over her head.

Carter bent down and whispered in her ear, "Luce, Santa's here."

Lucy opened an eye, saw Carter then rolled back over on her stomach, "I knew I shouldn't have told you where I hid my key."

"Come on get up! I want to give you my gift on Christmas!" He stood up and patted her back.

She rolled over and sat up, keeping the blankets close to her, "It's not Christmas for another hour and a half," she whined.

"Well I have a shift and I wanted to see you okay?" He walked into the kitchen and turned the lights on dim.

Lucy walked slowly out, wrapped up in blankets and yawning, "I hope this is worth it." She bent over and picked up a large rectangular wrapped box, then sat on the couch.

Carter sat next to her and laughed, "Are you even under all those blankets?"

She smiled and yawned, "Barely," she scooted over closer to him. "Ok, who first?"

Carter shook his head and smiled.

"Ok I'm going first," She set her present for her boyfriend aside and sat on her knees; with a smile and a glow her two blue diamond eyes.

"Aren't we greedy?"

"Oh come on!" She reached over to grab it.

"Hey that's no fair!" He picked her out of the layers of blankets, and pinned her onto the couch as he tickled her hips and stomach.

She giggled and kicked and squirmed, "Carter! Stop it!" She laughed and finally swatted his hands away and sat up still flushed and smiling, "Ahh now I'm cold." She laid down, resting her head on the arm of the couch as Carter laid on his right side, facing her and supporting his head with his hand.

"Well you are wearing a tank top and shorts in the December, Luce." He handed her the wrapped box and kissed her nose, "It's not much of anything, we were at the mall one time and I remembered you looking at these, and uh Merry Christmas."

She smiled and slowly tore the paper off the box, once it was stripped of all its paper; she smiled at Carter and slowly opened the black velvet square box. "Oh my god, Carter," her eyes widened and she pulled the necklace out. It a cluster of diamonds, placed into the shape of a heart, and collapsed by a white gold chain. She sat up and held it out in front of her, "Wow!" She gasped out staring at it, "Carter this… I can't believe you got this for me!" He took the necklace from her hands and tossed her hair out of the way, and clipped it. He straightened it around her neck. She looked down and took the diamond cluster with her two fingers and smiled.

He pressed his lips to her upper shoulder blade and whispered, "You look beautiful."

He had no idea what came in him that night; it must have been her. Sitting there so casually in shorts and a tank top, tired, late, on Christmas Eve which made him want to be with her every night like this. Just to watch her sleep and wake her up, kiss her whenever he wanted to.

She turned around and faced him, smiling ever so happy, "I can't believe you remembered this, and got it for me! It must have cost you like a fortune," she said as she stared at the diamonds around her neck.

Rubbing her shoulder he asked, "So you like it?"

Lucy smiled and kissed his hand, "I love it! Thank you."

He winked at her and pointed to the better-wrapped, larger box on the coffee table.

"No no no, mine sucks believe me."

"I bet it doesn't," he argued and tried to reach over, across Lucy and grab the present.

The present was pulled off the table and behind Lucy's back, "Trust me, it's nothing compared to yours."

"I think I'm going to like it," He pulled the box out of her hands, behind her back and began to untie the red ribbon, "Nice wrapping job."

Her eyes fell with disappointment and her face turned red from embarrassment, "Carter really…"

"Really nothing," he slowly unwrapped the gold wrapping paper and every now and then glanced up at her worried face, "You know you worry too much."

Lucy shrugged and watched as her boyfriend opened the box.

"Oh my god! Lucy!" He exclaimed and pulled the dark leather coat out of it's brown cardboard box "This is great!"

Her eyes met his doubtfully and she shrugged, "I know it's not what you usually get your boyfriend for Christmas but you're always cold in that coat," She pointed to his brown, dirty coat, which was hanging on the clothes hanger, "And I just saw it and thought of you."

Carter stood up and placed the smooth leather around him and onto his shoulders, smiling, "Ahh it is warm," he sat back down on the couch and hugged the coat around himself, "Thank you, Lucy." And with that he kissed her lips, while touching the glowing rocks on her neck.

Her hands traveled under his coat and her lips so perfectly fit with his.

.: Back to the Present:.

Bridget's eyes were beaming wide and staring throughout the whole story. She was quiet and never made a peep until now, "Dad," she interrupted and tapped Carter on the shoulder.

Carter stopped talking, and looked at his little girl, "Yeah babe?"

"Do you still have the necklace?"

Carter stood up and pulled a box out of under his bed, "I think so," he kept the box on the floor. There were things in there Bridget couldn't see, things he hadn't looked at for years. It was funny, after years of being a couple, everything that was left, everything Carter could, he saved inside a box, everything from all those years. He pulled out a jewelry box and opened it slowly. There were necklaces and bracelets sparkling all throughout the box. He pulled out the necklace he had given Lucy on their first Christmas. Once the box was back under the bed, the father sat back on the bed and clamped the necklace around Bridget's neck. She smiled and looked back at Carter, "Do I look like mommy?"

With his eyes welling up, he touched the diamonds on her neck, nodded and smiled at her, "Yeah…you look beautiful."

She flushed and stood up, "I have to go to the bathroom, but don't start without me!" She ran out as fast as she could.

While she was gone, Carter thought about the rest of that Christmas Eve night. He smiled and closed his eyes while he recounted everything.

.: Back to Christmas Eve:.

He laid next to Lucy and smiled, she smiled too.

She was staring at her diamonds that fell so glamorously around her neck looking at Carter she said, "If you don't like it, I can take it back,"

"Lucy, I love it! Best present I ever got now please drop it!"

She sighed, "Ok ok, its dropped."

He smiled at her, and leaned over her and kissed her tender lips.

She sighed and kissed him back.

While kissing, he moved one his hands onto her face and struck it so softly, while the other was smoothing her shoulder.

She closed her eyes and kissed just as passionately, just as hard.

He moved his lips from hers, and onto her neck. He sucked and kissed her neck and shoulders, every part he could.

"Carter…" She whispered and sat up, "John, wait."

Carter took his face away from hers and looked at Lucy, "You okay?"

"I don't think we should be doing this, not tonight anyways," She looked at her hands.

Carter pushed himself up and sat up straight, "Yeah…" he agreed as he felt like hiding under the couch out of embarrassment.

She smiled and looked at him, "I just… I don't want to do anything until we are sure of things, ok?"

Carter nodded and smiled slightly, "Yeah, and I have a shift."

Lucy laughed and took his hands.

Again smiling and looking at his girlfriend, she asked, "This is really going somewhere though isn't it?"

He nodded and put his arm around her shoulder, "Afraid?"

"No." she said softly, as she rested her head onto Carter's chest.

Their smiles met as they kissed one another passionately, even though it was just for a little while, it meant the world to Carter.

They pulled away and looked at each other before Carter stood up, "Well, I'm late."

She also stood up and hugged the blankets tightly around herself, "Yeah, I'll see you… when I see you I guess."

"I'm guessing whenever I page you down."

She nodded, placed her hands on Carter's shoulders and kissed him one last time, "Merry Christmas, John."

"Merry Christmas, Lucy," he winked at her, walked away, locking the door on the way out.


	6. Over and Over

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: One day late. I'm sure my THOUSANDS of readers were VERY upset. Well, if there's anybody out there actually reading this, review please.

Ch 6. Over and Over

.:Around Spring:.

Carter stood in Lucy's doorstep, pounding on the door, "Come on, Luce. Let me in!"

Inside he heard unlocking, and then finally the door opening.

"Sorry!" She stood there, in a robe and slippers with her makeup on and hair half done.

Shutting the door behind him, he cried, "Lucy! We have to leave here in like five minutes come on!"

"I'm going as fast as I can!" She ran back into her bedroom and curled the straight pieces of hair.

"Lucy, I can't be late, this is a family function I told you when we had to leave!"

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Again, I'm sorry. Work was crazy and I am just an intern."

He walked into her bedroom and sat on the bed, "Ok, what can I do? We have to go like now."

"Nothing, just stop trying to fight with me," She said as she let go of the curling iron to reveal a blonde curl.

He stood up and began to pace, "You could have at least called me if you were running late."

"For the third time, Carter, I'm sorry! I was too busy trying to get ready!" With anger and frustration she yelled back. Then, without concentrating, she set the hot curling iron against her neck, "Oh damnit!" She stood up and aired her neck.

"What, what?" Asked Carter as he walked over to her.

She pushed him out of her way and picked some ice out of the fridge and put it on her neck, "Nothing, I'm fine."

Carter exhaled nosily, "Are you ready to get dressed now?"

"Yeah, I am!" She hurried back to her room, and slammed the door.

The anxious boyfriend paced around her apartment, and looking at his watch as the seconds passed by. Tick, tick, tick. "Luce, how long does it take?"

Lucy opened the door, dressed beautifully in a red, silky dress, and her hair curled, Sarcastically she asked, "There, done, do I meet your approval?"

"Yes, you look fine, can we go now, please?" Tired of waiting, he asked.

She nodded and opened the door and walked out, in front of Carter and down her stairs, "You don't have to be so grouchy you know, we're only six minutes late."

"Yeah it's not your family." He opened the door for her and they began to walk out onto the sidewalk.

Slamming her heels loudly on the concrete she stated, "Well, I'm sorry me having to work so hard is putting a damper in your family functions."

"Excuse me, but I was an intern, yeah twice actually."

"Then you should understand, but you don't." She argued back, getting into his Jeep.

Exhausted of their fighting, Carter still asked, "What don't I understand?"

"Me! How hard it's been for me these seven months. I see you when I can; I talk to you when I can. But sometimes, I can't. Like tonight, I was just working a double two nights ago. Then I was working late today, and you still expect me to just like drop everything so I can be with you. Well, guess what, sometimes I'm tired, and sometimes I have too many patients, that I can't just drop them all at your command. And you get mad, but you shouldn't because, you've been there before too." She crossed her arms overher chest and just looked at her boyfriend.

"What the hell was that Lucy?" He raised his voice out of anger, "Do you want me to apologize? I'm sorry for wanting to be with my girlfriend when she has a free night, which is hardly ever. I'm sorry for liking you Lucy, I'm sorry for-"

His put downs, and sarcasm was shut off by Lucy, "Shut-up, Carter! You know what I mean!"

"Actually, I don't, and I'm sure you'll explain it to me in the nicest manner you know how, just like you are learning in your internship."

"Carter, shut the hell up! Before you make a even bigger ass of yourself!" She yelled and looked away from him.

He stopped at a red light, and the whole car was filled with an awkward silence as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel.

"Let me out," she said softly, and began to fiddle with the lock.

"What!"

"Carter, let me out! I don't want to be with you now!"

"So, I'm supposed to let you out in the middle of a busy street?" He looked at her, confused and angered. Why was she so mad?

"I don't care how you do it!" She was pulling at the door.

Carter pressed a button, which unlocked the doors and she stormed out and walked onto the sidewalk. He drove away fast, and from the rear view mirror, he saw Lucy get into a cab and go the opposite way.

.:At the Banquet:.

Carter sat at the bar, feeling alone and feeling terrible. He sipped his wine and looked around and sighed. He messed up, he screwed something great up because of his stupid temper.

"John!"

Carter stood up and looked behind him, where he heard the shout and saw his dad coming towards him. He hugged his dad and back on the bar stool.

"I thought you were bringing a girl," Asked the father, looking around.

Carter shook his head and sipped his wine, "No, uh, she couldn't make it."

"Oh, well that's too bad. You been seeing her for a while?" The older John asked, ordering a drink.

"Yeah, about seven months," He looked at his glass, and moved it from side to side, watching how the red wine moved in the glass.

"You must really like her then."

Carter picked his head up and looked at his father, "I really do." He set his glass down and once again, sighed.

"Did you see Millicent?"

Carter nodded, "And mom, they know I'm here."

"Good," He said upon receiving his drink, "Well, I guess I'll see you later tonight?"

Carter nodded his head, "Yeah, see ya, dad."

With his father out of his way, Carter lost himself in his own thoughts. He thought about the only thing that mattered, the only thing he spent so much time thinking about it was crazy. Lucy. Then, he thought about the fight they just had. He moaned and realized how awful it must have been for Lucy to walk away. Lucy. The only person who stayed and fought until it was absolutely impossible. Was it impossible? Did he really make it impossible? No. He wasn't going to give up on her. Not now or ever. He stood up, grabbed his coat and walked out of the banquet with only one mission on mind.

.:30 minutes later:.

Carter stood there, again knocking on Lucy's door, "Lucy, please let me in! Lucy, I'm sorry!" He yelled over and over again, then he reached above the door, and pulled out Lucy's emergency key and opened the door. "Lucy? Lucy, honey, are you here?" He set the dozen roses he had bought her down on the coffee table and walked around. The house seemed just as she left it. He walked into her bedroom and saw her robe tossed on the bed, and her vanity covered in bottles of makeup, "Lucy?" He continued to walk around her apartment she wasn't there. This wasn't right, it's been an hour since he saw Lucy go into that cab, something happened to her. "Oh god!" He checked the apartment one last time, and then ran out and into his car. John sat there, in his Jeep thinking of where Lucy would be. What could have happened? He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his house, to check if she left a message. When his cell phone died out of lost batteries, he threw it on the ground in anger and drove to his place.

.:A little later:.

Carter slammed his Jeep door and ran into his apartment building, up the stairs and down the hall until he reached his door. He pulled his keys out of his coat pocket and fiddled with the door and lock until it opened. Once it did, he walked inside and straight through his kitchen and into his living room. There he saw her. Lucy, she was sitting on his couch in tears. Carter sighed of relief and just looked at her for a little.

She was out of her dress, which was lying on the chair and she was wearing a t-shirt of his, and a pair of his pants. Which were both too large on Lucy. The shirt was beyond oversized and the pants were rolled up along the waist. She stood up from the couch and wiped her hands on the pants. "Hey…." She said unsure.

He just sighed again and wiped his hand over his face. "You scared the shit out of me. You know that?"

"Sorry…you know…for everything." She dug her hands in her pockets and shrugged her shoulder.

He once again sighed, still not believing all the things that ran through his mind in the last hour. "I'm sorry, too."

She took a step forward and stroked her hand over his arm. "First fight as a couple."

He sighed, for the last time and just wrapped his arms all the way around her and she laid her head in his chest and they both smiled.

Carter smiled, he couldn't help it, she looked so beautiful although her hair a mess and her tight dress was replaced with Carter's baggy clothes. He sat on the couch and pulled her onto his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder and curled her legs on the couch. Carter wrapped his arms around her and held her close; it was incredible how perfect she fit in his arms.

As Carter sat there, holding his girlfriend, a thought entered his mind. He remembered being at Lucy's apartment, being so scared she was hurt, raped, or even dead. He called to mind how afraid he was, afraid he wouldn't see Lucy ever again, afraid that he lost her. And life without her was nothing. He spent years without Lucy, even a few disliking her, and how he wasn't going to waste anymore time.

Stroking her hair, and feeling her so close to him, he knew it. If he wasn't sure before he was now.

"Hey uhh, Luce," He started. She picked her head up, turned around and faced him. "I, uh just want you to know… and you don't have to say anything back, but I love you."

She stopped everything. She just stared at Carter. "You love me?" She asked searching his eyes for a reaction with a smile pressed on her lips.

He smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

Lucy's lips grew wide as an even wider smile spread across her face and her hands' grasped onto his, "I love you too, John."

Carter stroked her face and smiled. Who would have thought, he would have fallen for Lucy Knight? And who would have thought she would have fell for him.

She laughed and Carter tilted her head up, to meet his, and he looked into her eyes and kissed her. As the moments passed of those two kissing, they both knew this was far beyond love.

.:Back to the present:.

Carter laughed and continued talking, "And that was the first night we-" He stopped, realizing what he was going to say. He looked over at her daughter, she was sound asleep, lying on her stomach and her head facing Carter, she looked ever so peaceful.

He smiled and looked at the clock, about 9:30. That's when he picked her up, and carried her into her room. Her room was pink, with pictures of ballerinas on the walls, and a pink bed spread. Carter laid her on her bed and covered her in blankets. Reaching over and turning on her night light, and then looking back at her daughter, he realized how innocent she looked, how beautiful she was, and how much she looked like her mother.

He saw Lucy in her in everything. Bridget's stunning eyes, her face, her nose, her personality. The only thing Carter had to show that she was his daughter was her dark hair. The man sighed and stroked his child's arm. He whispered, "Bridg, honey, I'm sorry I'm not half the parent your mother would be." He sat in bed, next to his daughter and stroked her arm while holding her close, "Your mom loved you so much, Bridget," He sighed and kissed her head before standing up, "But I guess you don't remember, or even know that." He kissed her again, moved the hair out of her eyes and went into his bedroom. There he saw the picture, Bridget left on his bed, of her, and Lucy the first day Bridget crawled. Smiling he picked it up and sat on the bed. There he stared at his long wife for a while, and remembered everything about her, every inch of her skin, the sound of her laughter, the taste of her kiss, everything he missed. He walked into Bridget's bedroom and set the picture on her nightstand. Kissing her one more time he walked back into his room and changed. After brushing his teeth he went to bed.

Lying in bed he remembered just where he left off telling the story to Bridget, and just when Lucy spent the first time, in bed with him, that same night.

.:Later that night:.

Lucy and Carter laid there, on the couch in front of the fire. Just holding each other and remembering this night…whenever they both truthfully admitted their feelings to one another. Lucy rolled over to look at her boyfriend in the eyes and she brushed her hands through his hair before leaning in and kissing him. Hard at first, before they both just fell into in and were making out. Her hands now ran up and down and up and down his chest, with her fingers reaching lower each time they traveled down. And his, one held onto her hip and the other embraced her chin, to make sure neither of them let go of this kiss.

She sat on her knees and pulled away from Carter, looking at him eye level, she whispered, "Do you want to…" her voice trailed off.

Carter tucked a loose strand of hair out of her eyes and behind her ear, "Do you?"

She nodded and smiled and again kissed him. He picked her up and threw her over her shoulder. She laughed and screamed when he threw her on his bed.

She smiled and giggled as Carter got back into bed with her. She bit her lip and looked into his eyes at the same time as she untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt.

Cocking an eyebrow at her, he bent over and kissed her neck, over and over again. She sighed happily and finally removed his tie. Then he sat up on his knees and took of the rest of his shirt. She watched him, smiling. Carter then grabbed onto his shirt, which was worn by Lucy and pulled it off, over her head. She then put her hands on his chest, and he sat her up, pressing their bodies together. Feeling each other's body heat. When a feeling of lacy fabric interrupted Carter's necking and sucking, he rubbed her back and unbuckled the lock, and she slowly removed the bra off of her shoulders.

She smiled and stroked his face and running her hands through his hair before she kissed him.

And for the rest of that night, he made love to her like he had never before.


	7. Beautiful Memories

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: Ok for this chapter I'd thought I'd change things up, this is written in Carter's POV. I don't know if it will stick or not, let me know what you think. Also, thanks to all my awesome reviewers.

Ch7. Beautiful Memories

.:That Morning:.

I was awakened to the feeling of movement on the bed, and then I heard her usually sweet voice, now sounding miserable.

"Yeah, it's Lucy, listen I don't think I can come into today. I know, but this is my only sick day and I just feel like crap,"She let out a cough and blew her nose, "Yes, I'll be into tomorrow, thank you." Then she hung up.

I smiled watching her on the phone. I could only see her back, but it was a sexy back. I grabbed her hips and pulled her back into bed with me. "Great acting, Lucy, someone is winning an Emmy."

She laughed and laid her head on my chest, where she was all night. As she traced her finger along my abs and chest she begged, "Please tell me you're off today!"

"Very much so, yes," I said playfully tugging a piece of her blonde hair.

Sitting up and looking down at me, keeping the blankets close to her she said, "This is nice, spending nights with you, waking up with you… it's just," She smiled, "nice."

I smiled as I was just thinking the same thing and dreaming of doing what we did last night every night, and waking up to her every morning. "Yeah, know what you mean."

Then she laid back down and slowly fell asleep.

.: Around September:.

We've been together for a year now, and things were still great. Although things were going slower than slow…I was just happy to be with her, everyday. I knew she loved me, but she still seemed so unsure of things… or maybe it was me. Well, one morning I decided to make a move I hadn't ever imaged myself doing before.

The alarm clock buzzed loudly and the couple groaned.

She rolled over and shut it off, "I hate working the day shift," She said pulling the blanket over her head.

I opened and rubbed my eyes, "It's better then internship though isn't it?"

She laughed and finally got out of bed, "Yeah definitely," She ran around the room, collecting her clothes from the night before.

"You know, Luce, you don't have to go home every morning. It's not like we're hiding a secret. How about you can sleep late, take a shower here…?" I gave her a small wink to see her reaction, "Then, I can drive you to work, doesn't sound so shabby does it?"

She stood there in the doorway, only wearing my oversized tee shirt that went halfway down her thighs. She didn't move, or speak, just stood there. She saw right through me.

I sat up and walked over to her in the doorway, "Ok that was cheep, Lucy, will you move in with me?"

She looked around the room and tucked a piece of longer blonde hair behind her ear.

"Ok I'll clean," I laughed and took her clothes from her hands and put them in a hamper, "There, done."

She cocked her head and still stared me down.

"Lucy, you aren't saying anything."

She bit her lip, as her blue eyes softened, "If I say, yes… can we get a new place?"

"Yeah, and maybe even new furniture," I cupped my arms on her hips and pulled her hips to mine.

She squinted her eye and looked at me, laughed a little and finally said, "Yes, I will…but only under these conditions: Big bathroom," she put her arms around my neck and gazed into my eyes, "Nice furniture, and an extra room."

I smiled and then began to kiss her ear, whispering I said, "Yeah, whatever you want."

I could feel her face flush with warmth. It was her soft spot. Just below the ear. She giggled and beamed. "But, I do have to go home, you know I can't wear your shirt to work."

Still kissing, I responded, "You left a pair of scrubs here a while ago,"

She took her thumb and her forefinger and massaged my neck, "Psyche residents don't wear scrubs."

"But you're a hot psyche resident," I lifted my hands under her shirt and rubbed her stomach.

"I guess I can make accommodations for you then."

I pulled back from her ear and kissed her on the lips, "Ok let's take a shower!"

I pulled her to the bathroom and Lucy and I showered and spent a long morning together, for the first time.

.:Back to Present Day:.

A tapping on my shoulder woke me up from a complete fantasy; I rolled over onto my other side. I couldn't wake up; I had to be with her again. The tapping continued and then a whisper in my ear, "Daddy?"

I rolled back over and saw my daughter. Gripping onto her teddy and with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, sweetie, it's late why aren't you asleep?"

She stuck her lip out and sniffled, "You never finished the story."

I picked her up and sat her in bed next to me, "It's late."

She nodded and curled her legs in a ball, "I had a dream."

Sighing and looking at her, how upset she looked made me want to curl in a ball also. I picked her up and rested her on my chest, "What about?"

The sound of her crying increased and she told me. But I couldn't understand. Her weeping and high squeals of what she was trying to say were the only things I could comprehend. And that was enough for me to realize how not ok she was. I was the only parent she knew for almost her whole life. Of course, Abby would some time take her shopping and paint her nails. But Abby wasn't around all the time. So it was us. She would always run down the stairs to ask to if I would make her hair pretty…I tried. But whenever she realized I was just her father, she got upset and walked away. She would sigh loudly and walk away and just be quiet. And at those times, whenever she reminded me of her mother I couldn't be with her; because I would lock myself in my room and cry also. That was until Bridget came running, in sensing I was upset and would do anything in her power to make me feel better. We never even really talked about her until today, and holidays were always hard but this one was the hardest for both of us. Holding my daughter while she bawled I then realized how bad I messed up. How bad I let Lucy's death effect the well being of my daughter… how if it had been me who died instead of her, she would have done so much better.

I picked her up and carried her downstairs. Bridget, still crying hugged onto my neck and dropped her teddy somewhere on the stairs. I opened the fridge and removed a carton of milk, got cookies from the closet, and cups from the cabinet. As I poured the milk and placed the cookies on a plate, I heard her crying mellow, but still felt wet tears rolling down my neck. I picked up the milk and cookies, while holding my daughter and walked into the living room. Once the cookies were set on the coffee table, and a cookie in my daughter's hand I started.

"Bridget, I want you to listen to me, ok?"

She nodded and picked apart her cookie.

I removed what was left of the cookie and held her arms close.

"I love you. I love like I love nobody else in this world, Bridget. And I know how hard this is for you. Growing up without a mom, something every other girl has… I don't know what to do, honey," Tears felt my eyes and I wiped them away quickly, "Do you want me to start dating? Do you want a mother that badly?"

"Daddy no!" She started to sob again, "Please don't! Mommy was the love of your life right?"

I nodded, taken back by my daughter's reaction.

"Then she was the only one for you! I don't want any mommy, I want my mommy!"

I sighed with relief and pulled a loose strand of hair behind her ears, "Ok Bridg. But then it's just me and you, are you okay with that?"

She nodded and hugged me tightly. "I love you daddy."

Hugging her back, I kissed her head and said back, "I love you too, Bridget. You're my everything."

She gulped and backed away from the hug, "I dreamed about mommy."

I reached over and gave Bridget her glass of milk, "What about mommy?"

"That she never died."

"I dream that all the time too."

"We were playing."

I laughed and took a sip of milk, "She loved playing with you."

"How old was she when I died?" She asked bluntly.

I didn't want to get into this now, Lucy's death. I never told anybody the story before; it's bad enough having it replayed in my head every night, "A day… no I guess two days after your half birthday."

"Daddy, what really really I happened? I mean I know about-"

I stopped her before she said the word, "Well don't you want me to continue with the rest of my story first."

She nodded fast and smiled.

I pulled a blanket down, wrapped it around the both of us and I kept telling the story.


	8. Two Pleas

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: Susan is roughly 8 weeks pregnant. And yes, Luka IS the father. You'll see this story of Luka and Susan played out as a side note in this fiction. But, after this, I'm going to write a Luka and Susan fiction…so enjoy!

Ch 8. Needing You

.: The Next Christmas:.

It was the first time we could spend all Christmas together-and in our new apartment. A two bedroom, one bathroom, huge kitchen, big windows and a beautiful living room apartment; neither of us commented on the other bedroom, but it was there, for whatever be the reason. It was incredible. She loved Christmas, the music, the lights, the gifts, just the spirit. So we were sitting on the couch stringing popcorn.

"You know, Luce, they do make real garland for trees," I said pricking my finger with the needle.

She rolled her eyes and argued, "Oh come on, this is fun!"

I laughed, looking at her huge string of popcorn and my little one, "So, this is what you and your mother did growing up?"

She nodded and popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth, "Yeah, we couldn't afford… well, a lot of things so we saved wherever we could."

I smiled and looked at her, "You know, my Christmases basically consisted of a mansion full of hundreds of family and friends, and getting too many gifts to not even know what to do with," I shrugged, "And after Bobby left, things became worse. My parents went away, then my sister moved away as fast as she could… so it was me and my Gamma."

I heard her stop stringing and felt her stare on me.

I looked at her then back at my string of popcorn, "So, maybe you did really have it better growing up."

She scooted closer to me and asked, "Are you okay?"

Looking over at her I gave a small smile and kissed her, "Yeah, I'm okay."

Lucy smiled and stood up and wrapped the tree in her popcorn string, "Now that looks good, come on."

I stood up and put my hands on her hips and admired the Christmas tree, "Yeah, it looks great."

She took my hand and asked bluntly, "So, what should I get you for Christmas this year?"

I laughed and kissed her head, "Nothing."

"No, I owe you a gift and well I need some ideas."

I sat back down on the couch and watched her watching me, "I have an idea."

"Good, tell me!" She ordered while putting a few ordainments on the tree.

"How about, next week, Christmas Eve, we go out for a fancy dinner?"

She stopped decorating and looked at me, "How fancy?"

I nodded and winked; she knew what I was thinking.

"Carter! That's not a gift for you unless I'm paying."

I took her soft hands and pulled her towards me, "Okay, you pay for dinner, and I'll handle the rest."

Holding my face in her hands she asked, "What rest?"

"It's a surprise," Wait wait wait. What was I saying? I was really going to do this, wasn't I? Oh my god.

She bit her lip and kissed mine, "Ok, what time?"

My hands began to sweat as I pulled them away from her waist, "Umm eight, I made the reservations a while ago. It's that new French place you've been wanting to go to, so dress nice ok?"

She smiled and nodded, "Ok! I'm going go see what I need to buy!" She ran to our bedroom laughing and excited. And I sat on the couch; nervous and not believing I was actually going to do this. I sighed and continued to string the popcorn.

.:Christmas Eve, during the day:.

I sat in the lounge, twirling her soon to be ring around my fingers. Sighing and staring at it, I had no idea what I was doing, what was I going to say. The only thing I knew was that I loved her and didn't want to spend my life with anyone other then her. Just then Susan barged into the lounge mad about something.

"Damn that Weaver!" She said pouring coffee, "I'm the pregnant one and she's telling me to stay all night! Not even asking! No, Kerry, I'm not staying! Jeez, that bitch!" She stopped and looked at her coffee cup, "And I can't even drink this!" She dumped it down the sink, took a deep breath and calmed down. Then noticed me in the corner, "Hey Carter, what's that?"

I looked at the ring in my hand and put it in my pocket, "Nothing."

Her eyes widened and she walked closer to me, "Carter! Oh my god, is that a ring!"

I looked at her staring at me with her mouth open and her eyes widened, then I pulled the ring out of my pocket and handed it to her.

She sat next to me and gasped, "Wow Carter, it's gorgeous."

I shrugged and took it back. It sparkled and gleamed from a diamond, and the diamond was held on by a white gold band… to match the necklace I gave her last Christmas. Gamma gave it to me; it was my great-grandmother's, and she had it resized to fit Lucy, which was a whole other task. She said she owed it to Lucy. I traced my finger over the diamond, "Think it's too soon?"

"Well, let me see,"Sstarted Susan as she poured herself juice, "You've been dating for a year plus, you've been in love with her since she was like a med student, she's crazy about 'her Carter' and you've been living together for like what? Six months? No I think you're out of that range," She said smiling.

"Then, do you think she'll say yes?"

Susan nodded and smiled, "You guys are great together, Carter."

"We've been taking things kind of slow… that's how she wants it. But, this just feels right, for me anyways." I stood up and poured myself a cup of coffee.

"So when are you doing it?" She asked delighted.

"Tonight, we're going out for dinner then I'm taking her for a walk around the lake."

She sighed, "I wouldn't even say no to that."

I carefully placed the ring back in its case, "I'm so nervous Susan, it's not even funny."

She laughed, "It's cute."

"Yeah for you maybe," I wiped my sweating palms onto my lab coat, "I don't even know what I'm going to say."

"Just be honest," She shrugged and looked at me, "Tell her how you feel."

I looked at her, "Yeah, and with your current situation with Luka, and not to mention the hormones, your opinion isn't ranking high on my list."

She laughed before swatting her hand across my shoulder, "Well, not everybody can be so perfect for each other like you and Lucy," She rubbed her stomach and raised her eyebrows at me, "I would say good luck, but you won't need it."

I sighed, "Thanks, I think…"

"Oh god, this is so exciting! Hey, speaking of Lucy, I haven't seen her today."

"Oh, she's shopping," I shrugged, "Well, I better get home."

"Oh, don't forget to wash behind the ears!" She winked at me.

I winked back and signed my patients out, and walked into the cold Christmas weather.

.: Dinner:.

I walked around to the opposite side of my Jeep and opened it for her. She smiled and took my hand as she jumped down.

"Jeez, Carter, this is gorgeous!" She took my hand tightly and I walked her into the restaurant.

"Yeah and your paying," I whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek.

"Well, I don't mind for this kind of place," I opened the door and she walked in front of me. She looked beautiful tonight; she was wearing a knee length green velvet dress. Her blonde hair, which was again long, curled all the way around her face and framed it so well, once we got our seats, we ordered each a glass of wine. She looked at me and smiled.

I took her hand across the table, "Happy?"

Squeezing my hand she looked around, "It's beautiful, but what is this about?"

"What is what about?" I asked, skimming the menu.

"This dinner, I don't know it's random." She nodded a thank you to the waiter as he poured the wine.

I shrugged and looked at her, "Call it cabin fever."

She tilted her head and again, saw right threw me.

"I just wanted to be a beautiful place, with you," I tried.

She blushed and nodded, "If you say so."

As we ate dinner, my palms began to sweat even more. And Lucy became even more beautiful with each passing second. Imaging her as my wife, felt incredible,

But, everything about Lucy was that way. The way she her eyes twinkled when she was happy, her way of slowly waking me up in the morning when I slept through the alarm, her way of loving me… all of it was past grasping. I never knew I could feel like this. And I didn't think I loved her in such a way that she loved me. I was unworthy of her.

As I gathered those thoughts and she paid the check, I knew what I was just going to say.

.:A little Later:.

My hands were on her waist as we walked along the streets of Chicago. It was cold, and snowing but romantic (if I do say so myself), like it was out of a Christmas card. We both were licking our ice cream cones as we approached the lake and I could hear her teeth clink as she shivered.

"You know," She started, "You're probably the only guy that takes a girl out for like a dollar ice cream, in December, after she bought you a dinner at a fancy French place."

I smiled slightly, nervous as hell, "Your hands are freezing, babe," I rubbed hers in mine and pulled her in closer to me.

She finished her ice cream and snuggled into me, "Why are we walking around the lake on Christmas Eve?"

I stopped on a small bridge and shrugged, "No idea." She stood in front of me and rested her hands on the handle. My body was behind hers and my hands also latched onto the handle.

She sighed and took one of my hands in hers.

I took a deep breath and started, whispering in her ear, "I love you, Lucy."

She turned around and faced me, our faces close and my arms still around her body, "I love you too, John."

I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a wrapped box, "This is something to match what I got you last year," I playfully tugged on the necklace she was still wearing around her neck.

"What is it, like a set?" She asked joking, and took the box from my hands and slowly began to up wrap in, tearing off the red wrapping paper inch by inch, "Is this like a brac-" She couldn't finish. The box was open and there, uncovered a sparkling diamond. She looked at it, then at me, with her eyes wider and bluer then I had ever seen them and her face just uttered with surprise.

I took the box from her hands and held it in mine, "Lucy, I've been in a lot of relationships with a lot of women. And I have never felt this way about any of them the way I feel whenever you're in my arms."

She looked at me in utter shock, taking in every word I said.

I took another deep breath and took the dazzling rock out of its box and held it in my two fingers while shutting the box and putting it in my coat pocket, "I will never leave you, Lucy, because if I did, I know I wouldn't live. You are the most amazing women I know. Everything about you takes my breath away."

The tears streaming come her face multiplied to even more and a smile grew along her lips though her face was still surprised; and her hand over her heart.

"Lucy Ana Knight," I got down on one knee and held the ring in front of me, 'Will you complete my life? Will you marry me?"

She took a deep breath and looked at me, then nodded. She couldn't make the words come out because of the crying, but somewhere between the sobs I heard a, "yes."

That's when I reached up, wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her down to me. She wrapped her arms around neck as she sat the rest of her body on my knee.

Both of us smiling and laughing, I pulled one of her hands away from my neck and slid the ring on her finger. She looked at her hand and cried more as I cupped her face in my hands and pulled it towards mine and kissed her like I have never before.

She kissed back with just as much feeling as I had. When we both pulled away to breath she said quietly, "I'm going to be your wife."

I nodded and stood up, pulling her up with me, "My wife."

She put her hands on my back, stood on her tippy-toes and kissed me.

My hands went through her locks of curls of hair as hers rubbed my back.

Then we pulled away and hugged for a long time. Fiancé to Fiancé.

.:Later that Week:.

We sat in a crowded photography shop and still so happy about to explode.

"Oh I have an idea," she started. "Why don't we just send these pictures out with a notice instead of having to meet with your family?"

I laughed, "My parents aren't that bad."

"Carter! They never even met me! And I'm going to be marrying their youngest kid."

To the grace of god, her freaking out was interrupted by a voice, "John and Lucy Carter, you're up."

I looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, "Lucy Knight is changing her name?"

She shrugged and stood up, pulling me behind her, "I just wanted to see how it would sound."

I enveloped my arms around her stomach and rested my head on hers, "I think it sounds sexy, Mrs. Carter."

She giggled and we entered the room.

They talked and positioned us and fiddled with our hair and Lucy's makeup for about twenty minutes before they started to flash the camera.

"Ok, just act natural," Said one lady as she clicked away at her camera.

And of course, my fiancé couldn't follow simple instructions without an argument, "Uh how can we act natural whenever there are like twenty beams of light flashing in our faces?"

I sat in a chair and pulled her in my lap, "There, all the neutrality."

She laughed and looked in my eyes. I smiled and looked back at hers.

--CLICK--

And that was a keeper.

.:Present:.

Bridget laughed, "So, that's when the picture in your room was taken?"

I nodded and smiled, "Yeah, it was."

She yawned and laid her head on my lap, "Tell me more, Daddy."

I picked her up and began to walk upstairs, "Baby, it's late and you have school tomorrow."

"But, I really want to hear it," She yawned again and I walked into her room and set her on her bed.

"How about I tell some more tomorrow over breakfast, then when you get home from school tomorrow I'll tell… well the end ok?"

Once I got an OK from her, I pulled off her clothes and put the big tee shirt on her.

"As long as I hear the whole thing by Friday."

I turned off the lights in Bridget's room. She pushed her lips together and looking at her bed and then at me. I took her hand and asked, "Want to stay with me tonight?"

She nodded again, ran into my room, and got under the blankets, "Do you miss her tonight?" She asked in her high, tired voice.

I also got under the covers and pulled her close to me, "Yes, even more then most nights."

"Why?" She asked and cuddled next to me.

"Because we were talking about her," I kissed her head.

She asked again, having to get every possible painful question before she went to sleep, "Does that make you sad?"

I rubbed her back, "They are happy memories, Bridg. It just makes me sad because I don't get to have any more with your mom."

"I don't have any," she said in a whisper and played with the end of the cover.

"Nothing at all?" No memories of her own mother… I thought of what a life she would grow up to have, never knowing one laugh she shared with her mommy.

"Just her eyes…maybe and maybe her voice," She picked her head up and looked at me.

I smiled and stroked a strand of my daughter's loose hair, "You have your mother's beautiful eyes."

She nodded and yawned, "Good night daddy."

I whispered back, "Good night Bridg, I love you."

She was sound asleep whenever I finally started to do something that I gave up on a long time ago.

"Luce," I whispered, looking out the window next to my bed and tears flowing from my eyes, "I know I haven't done this in forever. But, I need you now. Even more then I ever did." I slowly got out of bed and sat by the window seal, "Lucy, I can't do this… she wants to know everything and I'm not even ready to know everything yet," I started to cry, "Lucy, you said you'd never leave me, now you're gone. You left me with a daughter who was too young to even remember you before you left. She hurts, and I can't help her. I can't stop it," I looked into the stars and begged for a help, "Lucy, please… this isn't fair," I sobbed uncontrollably, "You gave up on me and on her, and none of us can seem to go on with out you." I took off my wedding ring and stared at it, "I love you, Lucy, and now it's becoming even more impossible to live without you. I need you; I need your help. Lucy, please, just come back. I just need to be with you." For the rest of that night I sobbed and cried and begged for my wife. Until around 3 am, whenever I couldn't take it anymore. I went back into bed, leaving my wedding ring on the window seal, and fell asleep. Where Lucy granted me my wish.


	9. Soon To Be

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: Sorry about the day-delay. I conformed and got a job. I just wanted to thank you guys for all the awesome reviews. I wrote this chapter so long ago, and honestly, I'm not a huge fan of it anymore. But, I guess you'll see the importance of this chapter in later chapters.

Ch 9. Soon To Be

.:About A Month Later:.

So there we sat, soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Carter, (or would that be Dr. and Dr. Carter?) in an office, which was said to be our wedding planner's. Now, I didn't want a huge gigantic wedding, it really didn't matter to me, and as corny as it sounds, as long as I got to marry the girl, I was set for life. But, Lucy on the other hand was the complete opposite, wanted everything just as she dreamed as a little girl whenever she ran around the house wearing tissues over her head.

So my fiancé' was flipping through a book of wedding cakes, "Carter, which kind of cake do you want, chocolate or white?" She asked not even looking at me, chewing on her thumbnail as she decided.

"Umm," I started and laughed, "I don't care, what do you like?"

She licked her lips looking at a tall towering cake, "What about this one? Chocolate cake and white icing?"

I took the binder off of her and looked at the cake, "Awe, we're going to have to get some of those little people for our cake huh?"

She nodded and smiled, "So cake number 335 good for you?"

"Yes, chocolate and white it is! Isn't that wedding planner supposed to be in here soon?" And just as those words left my mouth, she came in. She was famous around Chicago and made these weddings like a fairy tale… or so my to-be wife said. A Ms. Monica Bouder.

She walked in, gave us a small smile and sat in her office chair, "So, you guys want to be married?"

Lucy laughed and nodded, "Yeah, I was looking through the cakes and-"

Ms. Bouder then cut her off. "Woo, hang on there a second, Mrs. Carter. First, what month were you two thinking?"

Lucy looked at me, as if I had any idea what to say or do, "Umm, maybe like late summer, August, September…?"

"Wow, that does not give us a lot of time, but, I think I can squeeze you in," She flipped through her business planner and pointed out a date, "Last day in September I'm free."

I nodded, "Yeah, us too."

Ms. Bouder smiled. She was a young woman, maybe 29, with short dark hair, and stunning green eyes. She was professional and gave her opinion… honestly. And through the day, Lucy and I discovered how useful that was.

Ms. Bouder marked her planner and smiled, "Ok colors, late summer is a hard time to match colors, is there anything you were thinking?"

Lucy looked at me, suddenly frustrated and confused, "Umm I wanted to wear white…"

The business women laughed, "No, I mean for your bride dresses, flowers…"

And again Lucy looked at me when I held my hands up in a sign of helplessness, "Dresses, flowers, sorry, Lucy, that's your part."

"How about purple," She asked pressing her lips together, almost afraid of the answer from our wedding planner.

"Purple is gorgeous," She started and then pulled out books and books of purples. And once she picked the shade of purple, books and books of flowers were also picked, Lucy also picked some purple and light green ones, and I had no idea what they were called.

Then, somewhere in the middle of the china dishes, she looked at me, "Oh my god, Carter, what is our budget?"

I shook my head, "No budget…"

"Carter, I don't have a lot, you know that, you're not too rich there either." Her blue eyes again filled with concern.

"Yeah, but Gamma does. She really wants to help. Lucy, don't worry ok?"

She sighed and nodded, took my hand and made me pick out the china.

After a long day of picking, and still having a lot more to do, we went home.

.:Later That Night:.

She sat on the counter in our kitchen, stirring something on the stove whenever I walked into the kitchen also.

"Hey what's cooking, good lookin'?"

Her soft face turned towards me and smiled, "Pasta."

I stood in front of her and put my hands on her knees and slowly rubbed it, "You've been quiet tonight."

"I think, I'm just a little afraid," She said as she jumped off the counter and drained the pasta into the sink.

I watched her before responding, noting how the steam from the water made the ends of her hair slightly curl, how sexy she looked just doing a simple home task like draining noodles, and I said, "Afraid of what?"

Without looking at me she replied, "Umm… nothing, never mind." She poured the pasta back into the pot and began stirring tomato sauce within it.

"Lucy…"

"I don't know if we can do this, Carter." She said barely above a whisper as she finally faced me and dug her hands into her jean pockets.

"Do what? What are we doing?" I was completely confused and she was worrying me.

"Get married, Carter, I'm afraid this won't work out… and I want it to," Her eyes glistened and her face was directed towards the floor.

I stared at her for a while, trying to take in what she's saying. She couldn't be saying this… no. "Are you calling this off, Lucy!"

"No! Well I don't know," She walked away from me and sat on the couch in the living room.

I followed her, filled with hurt and confusion, "Lucy, what are you afraid of! Me? Do you not love me?"

"How can you even ask me that? You know how much I love you!" She stood up and looked at me hard.

"You're the one who is talking about calling off the engagement, not me!"

"I just keep thinking about where we were like two years ago," She was hurting also; I could see it in her face. Or maybe she just didn't want to hurt me…I don't know.

"Lucy! Two years ago was a long time ago! A lot has changed!"

"Not that long, John," She sighed and walked away from me as her hands began to quiver. "I just don't want to married and us still fighting about how stubborn you are-"

"You're pretty stubborn. too," I said under my breath.

"See this!" She yelled, "This is what I mean! We're in love and have been living together for months and we are still having these same fights that we had when I was your med student! Why do I keep flashing back to that day when-"

"Lucy stop! What are you trying to tell me? I need you to break it down and tell me what exactly is going through your mind. Because if you aren't ready for this, or you don't want to be with me… I need to know, you at least owe me that much, don't you think?"

She bit her lip and looked at me scared, "John, I don't know."

"Or is it something I'm too 'emotionally withdrawn' from my feelings to understand?" I didn't know what I said; being so hurt and mad and I just wanted it all to end. I just wanted to hold her again.

"Carter, don't act like that! I'm just trying to talk to you and you're getting so angry with me! I just feel like we don't know each other enough to be husband and wife." She rubbed her temples, upset.

"That's what the marriage is for. Lucy, your sitting here telling me you may not want to be with me… how am I supposed to respond?" I sat next to her for a desperate chance to hold her again. I took her hand in mine.

"I'm sorry," She started as I saw tears fall down her cheek, "I just need to think." She stood up, letting go of my hand, she kissed my forehead and simply said, "Good night." From there she walked into our bedroom, crying.

And I sat there on the couch alone. This had been the first night in forever that she didn't tell me she loved me. Feeling defeated and lost in my life, I walked to the kitchen, put the untouched pasta into the fridge and cleaned up the counters. That's when a feeling of nausea swept over me before I lost my lunch and breakfast into the sink, twice before I went into the bathroom, washed my face. Walking to our bedroom, like every night but I discovered that our bedroom door it was locked; a clear sign that Lucy didn't want to be with me… not tonight anyways. Then I fell asleep restlessly on the cold uncomfortable couch alone, feeling more alone then I ever had.

.: The Next Morning:.

I woke up to the sound of my watch alarm ringing in my ear. I groaned and rolled over, but the alarm still wouldn't stop ringing. I threw my hand over my wrist and pressed the buttons until It finally shut up. I stood up and took the blanket off myself before folding it. (Which is weird because I don't remember having a blanket when I went to sleep.) I stretched before walking into the kitchen. There I checked our calendar and lucky for her, Lucy wasn't working today. I prayed that this day would give her enough time to figure things out, how much I needed to be with her. After getting a shower I tried one more time to open our door… it was unlocked. Lucy must have been awake during the night. And that's when she must have covered me. I smiled slightly as I slowly opened the door. She was silently asleep; standing in the doorway I watched her breath in and out. I grabbed some clothes, but before I left for work, I kissed her cheek softly and whispered into her ear, "I love you, Lucy." I kissed her again, shut her door, locked the main door and headed to work.

.:That Afternoon:.

After the longest day of work I probably ever had at work, my shift finally ended. Abby said I should just talk to Lucy and everything would work out. With that being my plan, I signed out my patients, got into the jeep and drove home. On the way I picked up some roses, maybe she just needed some reassurance that I loved her… I really don't know and I was almost afraid to find out. I ran up the stairs of our apartment building and to ours, 4B. Taking a deep breath then opening the door, I saw the apartment a mess, with clothes everywhere.

"Uh, Lucy…" I started as I set the flowers in the kitchen and walked down the hallway, "Everything o-" I stopped suddenly as I walked into the bedroom and saw luggage on the bed with her running around trying to pack her things, "Lucy, what the hell are you doing?"

She hardly looked at me and just bit her lip as she looked in her suitcase, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Lucy what are you doing?" I opened one of her suitcases and began to remove stuff.

"I have to go," She said taking her things out of my hands and back in her bags.

"Go where! Why? Lucy!" I yelled at her even more hurt then last night; I really messed things up.

"I'm sorry, you were right, you don't deserve this," She zippered one of her bags and walked into the kitchen, dragging it behind her.

"Lucy! No, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what I did wrong!" I pulled her suitcase from her hands and threw them on the ground. I grabbed Lucy by the shoulders and held her hard, "What the hell is going on!"

"I need to figure things out, I'm sorry I have to do it like this, but you don't need my hanging around hurting you any longer." Tears fell from her eyes and she pushed my hands off of her, "This is something I can't do with you." She was sobbing by now and was wiping away her tears fast.

"Lucy…no," I started as I took her hands, "I need you here with me all the time. I can figure this out with you, whatever it is," I begged

She let go of my hands; "I'll call you in a few days or something…" She stood on her tippy-toes and kissed my cheek and whispered, "I love you." She opened the door, took her bags and walked out.

I stood there, for a few seconds, too shocked to have any idea what was going to happen. Did she just leave? I looked around the empty apartment and realized how alone it felt. I grabbed my coat and ran outside in a desperate attempt to catch Lucy. When I saw a taxi down the road, with a beautiful blonde inside crying… I knew I couldn't catch her… and it's not like she wanted me to.


	10. Finding You

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: No reviews last time. Psh! That's the last time I thank you. (Kidding)

Ch 10. Finding You

I walked back into our apartment and began to clean up the mess Lucy left. I slowly folded her shirts and placed them back in the drawer, hung up the dresses she didn't take in the closet, there I could smell Lucy. Then I tried the impossible task of trying to distract myself, but of course, could only think of Lucy. I sat on the couch and twirled my engagement ring around my finger, I thought of her. Of all the moments we spent together… and a lot of last night. I sighed and leaned back recounting the moments of the last year in my head, the Christmas', the dates, the times we spent together late at night in each other's arms, the times we spent fighting; and hating the feeling of my arms being so empty so lonely… until I fell into a lonesome sleep.

.:The Next Morning:.

The buzzing of my intercom woke me up. Yawning I stood up and thought of it might have been Lucy, I ran to the intercom.

"Hello?"

"Carter?" Asked a familiar voice, "Finally, I've been buzzing for like an hour."

I sighed and buzzed her in. It was Abby. She was probably coming for Lucy or something. I heard her knock at the door and I opened it for her.

"Hey," she said tilting her head as she let herself in, "How are you?"

I shrugged, I didn't want her to know, "Ok…"

She took off her coat, "Lucy called me."

I stared at Abby as the words left her mouth and traveled into my ear, all in slow motion. "Wait wait wait, you talked to her!"

She took off her gloves and nodded.

I ran my hand across my face and asked, "Well is she ok?"

"She's fine, she just… Carter, she needs to figure some things out. And that doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

I sighed and leaned against the arm of the chair and held my face in my hands, "How did I mess this up so bad?"

"You didn't," she sat next to me and rubbed my shoulder, "Lucy is fine, and will be back soon."

I looked at Abby and stood up, "So what? When she does go home we act like this never happened? She shouldn't have to do this alone." I ran to the phone and started punching in numbers to my travel agent.

"Carter…?" she asked as she followed me.

"When I asked her to marry me, I told her I'd be there for her through it all, and I'm keeping that promise," I sighed and checked the time, then I went to my bedroom and started packing clothes.

"You don't even know where she is, John," She chased me into my bedroom and watched me.

"She's in Pittsburgh with her mother… I know Lucy and that's where she'd go. Am I right?"

She stared at me, bewildered and shocked, "John, are you sure?"

"Yes," I then ordered a one-way ticket to Pittsburgh, which was taking off in a few hours and finished packing. "I should be at the airport like now, can you tell Kerry?"

She nodded and put some of Lucy's things in my bag, "Yeah… just incase she needs some things."

I smiled at Abby, "Thanks, for helping."

She shrugged and hugged me, "I only want good things for you and Lucy, and you seem to know what those are. So, I'm not going to argue with you."

I locked the door behind Abby and myself as I headed off to the airport, and she headed home.

After about an hour on a crowded plane, and then a crowded airport, and trying to find a taxi, and remember where Barbra's house was, I finally was dropped off in front of a small country house, which I think was Barbra's. (we spent last Easter here.)

"Hey, this your stop finally?" He asked in a rough raspy voice, I paid the cab driver his money and walked up to the house. The next thing I knew, I was on the doorstep, holding luggage and ringing the doorbell before a women answered.

"John?" She asked surprised and yet shocked.

I shrugged and hugged my to be mother-in-law, "Hi."

She smiled and took my bag, "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Me too…Lucy's here isn't she?" I asked as I walked around into the house and into the kitchen, so desperately looking for Lucy.

"Yeah she's here… she's just out shopping with her cousin right now."

I sighed and sat in a chair.

"Can I get you some tea?" Barbra asked.

I smiled at her; she was a great mother to Lucy… and well to even me. My parents hadn't even made the time to meet Lucy, while Barbra already adopted me. "Some tea would be great. Thank you."

She got up and turned on the kettle, "I got you're picture," She pointed over on her coffee table.

I stood up and walked over to it and saw an amazing picture of Lucy and I, our engagement picture. I smiled, picked it up and looked at it hard. Noticing the small details about her it seemed I never noticed before.

"You two make such a handsome couple," She placed tea bags into teacups.

I nodded and set the picture back down. While walking into the kitchen I responded, "Thank you… umm Lucy is ok right?"

She placed two teacups onto the table with a plate of cookies, "I think so, yes. But John, there's a lot about Lucy you don't know."

I looked at her in confusion and interest. Just when I opened my mouth to ask about what, I heard a door slam and footsteps. I turned around to where those footsteps were sounded.

"Ah, sorry I'm late, I don't know what happened to Jenny but she became like even more shopping crazy then I remember." She set her bags down on the couch before even noticing me. But when she did, her eyes were the best things I've seen all day. She looked at me surprised and then gulped. She said under her breath, "Carter…"

I stood up and walked closer to her, "I know I'm not supposed to be here."

She smiled slightly and stared at me as her eyes began filling with tears, "I'm glad you're here." Lucy wiped her eyes and looked at her mother, and then at me, "Let's go for a walk ok?"

I nodded at her, and she grabbed her coat while walking out the door, and staying close to me.

"So, how did you know where I was?"

I looked at her, "Uh Abby came by early today and, well she didn't say anything but it was pretty obvious."

With her coat zipped to the top, "Yeah, I was planning on calling you tonight. But, I'm so much happier that you came."

"Lucy, I don't know what you are or aren't ready for anymore. I mean, I thought you were ready for me. For us. And if you're not that's ok… I just need to know. But I'm not about to let you go. We've…we've worked too hard to be here now," I told her honestly. It took us forever to get to the point where we could admit our true feelings to one another, and I couldn't do it again. I really didn't want to. I just wanted to be with Lucy.

She just smiled at me and took my hand, I felt a sigh of relief fall over me; maybe we were going to be ok.

"I'm sorry I did things the way I did, I mean there is just something-"

I cut her off, "It's okay, Luce. I mean, I never thought I'd be marrying that Lucy Knight girl."

She laughed, "Yeah."

I continued, "So, this isn't the way either of us thought we'd end up, but I'm glad it is…"

"I was raped, John."

I stopped walking and just looked ahead of me where Lucy was. "What?" I asked, she couldn't have said…

"I was thirteen and my friends and I thought we were bad-asses and went to this senior party. And, I was actually dumb enough to take a drink from a guy."

I looked at her saying these words, but they just all buzzed around me. She couldn't be serious.

She shrugged, digging her hands into her pocket, "I didn't mean to drop it all on you like this but I knew I couldn't marry somebody who knows everything I used to be."

I ran my hand through my hair, "Lucy…"

She stood there in the cold. And with each breath she took and each time she spoke, a cloud of smoke traveled from her mouth. Her nose was flushed and her cheeks also, she waited for my reaction. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. And it's not a big deal, anymore. But…what happened has a lot to deal with who I am today."

"Oh my god," I walked closer to her, and held my hands around her waist. I somehow wanted to protect whatever pain he caused.

"I'm ok. It's been a long time. I didn't even remember it until a few years ago." She picked her hands out of her pocket and placed them on my arms.

"I can't believe you never told me that."

She joked, "It's not all that bad, I mean I lost my second virginity to you."

I laughed slightly, and then hugged her. I felt as her grip tightened around my back and her head lay comfortably on my chest. I rubbed her back while smelling her hair and whispering in her ear, "I love you, Lucy."

"I love you, too, Carter," She backed away from our embrace and I took both of her hands.

"So you're okay?" I asked, squeezing her hands.

"I'm okay, Carter." She started to rant. "I just know everything about you and I want you to know everything about me so you know what you're really getting yourself into. I want this to last; I don't ever want to divorce. I don't want us to find out in five years that we're not for each other. I want this to last." She sniffled and grinned.

I took her face in my hands and kissed her softly, "Lucy, this going to last.

After more smiling and hugging, her hands traveled around my waist. "Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?"

I nodded while picking a fallen eyelash off her cheek, "Here or in Chicago?"

"Can we stay here for an extra day or so? My mom wants to talk wedding talk."

"Sure. Let's get back inside before we both die of hypothermia," I said, pulling her hands toward her mother's house. I heard her teeth clatter.

"Sure," she said in-between shivers.

We walked together, inside Barbra's house.

.: Inside:.

We both changed into sweat clothes and were drinking hot chocolate, in the living room, while I tried to set a fire up in the fireplace.

"Ok I need a match," I looked over at Lucy, just sitting on the couch, "What aren't you going to help?"

She rolled her eyes and stood up, handing me a match, "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"It's a fireplace, what's there to know?" I lit a match and threw it into the fire where the logs caught on fire all in a flash.

She laughed, "Well, I guess that's good."

The fire grew fast and now was becoming higher and bigger by the second.

I shrugged and sat back on the couch with Lucy, while Barbra sat in the armchair.

"Wow! Nice fire, John!" She exclaimed pulling out some Bridal Magazines.

I shrugged, "So, have you thought of a dress yet, Luce?"

"Even if I've gotten one, you still couldn't see it."

"You got one!" I asked shocked as I peeked over her shoulder to look at the magazines.

"There's a Bridal store around here where I may get mine at tomorrow," She shut the magazine in my face.

Barbra smiled, "Well, what time is your flight tomorrow?"

I looked at a pad where everything was written on, "Uh, late fight, not until 10 pm."

The mother stood up and grabbed the phone, "I'll make you an appointment, Lucy."

I looked around the room and then at Lucy, "So um, second virginity eh?"

Lucy smiled slightly and gave me an odd look, "Uh huh…"

"So you and Dale never…?

She shook head fast and swallowed a sip of hot chocolate, "Did he say that! No! Never!."

I winked at her and looked around the room, taking it all in. It was so warm, with flowers everywhere and thousands of pictures. Don't get me wrong, the house I grew up in was nice… but it always felt cold. More like a museum. I stood up and walked around the small room, that's when I noticed a picture on the coffee table I did not see before.

"Oh my god, Lucy." I laughed while picking it up. A baby picture of Lucy, she must have only been six months with oatmeal all over her face.

Lucy grabbed the picture off of me and blushed.

"These are great," I stood up and walked around the living room noticing even more and more pictures of Lucy.

"Ok, ok, you can stop now."

"Why? This is fun!"

She blushed more and looked at me, "You know there better be a lot of pictures at Gamma's house whenever I meet your parents."

"There are. Believe me." I pointed to a picture that was taken when she was just born.

She rolled her blue eyes.

"You were a little thing."

"Uh…five pounds, nine ounces. I was a little premature." She starred at me while she spoke.

I looked over at her, over my shoulder, "What?"

She raised her eyebrows and set the pictures back down on the table.

"Uh…what?" I shook my head at her.

"We never talked about kids," She said looking in her coffee cup.

I couldn't believe she actually brought it up. Here. Now. "We didn't…" My voice trailed off.

"Well do you?" She asked plopping back down onto the couch.

I nodded and sat next to her, "You know I always have. But if you don't-"

She smiled and cut me off, "No! I do."

"Good."

"Good," She said smiling back at me, "But not now."

"Right, we have to at least get you down the aisle first."

Laughing she agreed, "Right."

.:Dinner:.

"So, honeymoon…" She winked at me from across the table while she slid her fork in her mouth and chewed her shrimp.

"Well, where do you want to go?" I smiled at her.

She shrugged, "Well we can go to Europe, or like Hawaii, or Florida, or um… I don't know," She sipped her wine.

"I really don't know, Luce. Wherever you want to go, I want to go."

She bit her lip and thought, "The beach is so cliché."

"Alright, that knocks out Hawaii and Florida. That is unless you want to go to Disney."

Laughing, she responded, "No, not really… but, Europe is so far away."

"We can stay in Chicago then if you want to. But I though the whole point of honeymooning was to get out," I said in between eating my chicken and then continued, "How about we wait until we meet with Monica again, then we'll talk with her and get the expert's opinion?"

She nodded and finished her glass of wine, "Sounds good to me…I'm just excited."

I took her hand from across the table and gave it a light squeeze, "I really am too." Looking at her, then my plate and back at her, I asked, "How about your father?" The question has been on my mind since we first started seeing each other.

Lucy looked at me before answering, "Umm…what about him?"

"You know who he is right?"

"I know his name…" Her voice trailed off and she swirled the wine around the glass.

"Do you want to invite him?" I asked while I ran my fingers across hers.

"Whenever I was little," She started and pulled her hand back from mine to fiddle with her hair, "And I dreamed of my wedding, he was supposed to be there, to give me away. I mean I always thought…one day…someday, he'd wonder who I was. But, here I am, twenty-eight years later." She cleared her throat. "I don't really want to talk about him, though."

"It's his loss." I smiled at her and waited for her expression.

"We don't need to invite him, your family will keep us busy enough," She said with a grin.

I smiled back, and then ordered another glass of wine to finish our dinner with.

.:Later that night:.

I held her tight, holding her up from falling as we walked into Barbra's house.

She started laughing again and buried her head into my shoulder. "I'm so buzzed!"

"You're a little more then buzzed," I whispered loudly, Barbra was asleep and I didn't want to wake her up.

She took a few steps, and again, starting laughing.

"And what is that funny?" I asked watching her.

Then, I saw the hallway light turn on in the upstairs hallway as Lucy tripped over her own feet, and fell back into my arms.

"What's all the noise about?" Whispered Barbra as she came down the stairs to check on us.

Lucy rolled her eyes and looked at me, then laughed again. "Nothing." She shook her head fast and closed her eyes.

"My god, John! What did you let her drink!"

"Not a whole lot. Just some wine and some mixed drinks." I cursed myself for letting her drink all that.

Lucy snickered once more, let go of my grasp, and once again slumped back into my arms. "It must be these shoes." She looked at me and nodded.

"Yeah that must be it, Luce," I rolled my eyes at Barbra, kept from laughing by biting her lip.

"Do you need any help getting her upstairs?" She asked amused.

I shook my head, "No, I got it. Sorry for waking you up."

"No problem, good night, Lucy, John." She walked back up the stairs, looking behind her back every so often.

"She's acting weird," Lucy said weird Lucy said putting extra stress on 'weird'.

"Well, you're less drunk then you were last time I saw you 'buzzed'."

"Ohh! That…was bad!"

"Yeah it was. You okay?"

She sighed, "I'm just a little sleepy."

"Can you walk?" I questioned as I held her shoulders in my arms.

"Uh, yeah, I can," She said…but never moved, "Ok, maybe I'll need a little help."

"Ok, ok, come on, my fair lady," I swung her legs into my arms and walked up the stairs slowly, while she still laughed. "What's funny now?"

"Not one thing," She said as her eyes closed.

I walked into her bedroom and set her carefully on the bed. "Can you change your own clothes?"

She nodded, I handed her a pair sweat pants and watched her closely to make sure she was ok. Once we were both changed, I brought a glass of water to my fiancé.

"What's this thing for?" She asked, holding the glass up in wonder.

"I don't want you to be dehydrated, drink up then we can sleep."

She sighed and took a few sips before handing the water back to me.

I turned off the lights and helped her get under the covers, "I'm never going to let you drink again." I said, watching her drift away.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

I cleared my throat and got comfortable.

I felt her hair fall in my face and I opened my eyes and saw her glazed ones looking right back at me. I picked my head up and kissed her softly. "I love you. Even when you're drunk off your ass," I laughed.

"Thank you for coming. For being here, for caring. For caring about the crazy side of me."

"That's not going to change."

We laid back down, closed our eyes, and blissfully fell asleep.


	11. A Change in the Air

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

A/N: Reviews make me so happy. And I feel sad because school starts in 15 days, I'm working two jobs….Pity for reviews anyone?

Ch 11. Change In The Air

.: About one months later:.

After that night in PA, Lucy was fine. No sign of a hangover; or a memory for that matter. Wedding plans were being made; we were renting a cabin in Aspen for our honeymoon and skiing, something Lucy never did but I was happy to teach her. Things felt great with us again, and I knew they had to stay that way.

It was the twentieth day in February, and something was going to happen that would change our lives forever.

I sat at our table, eating breakfast early in the morning, for we both were on dayshift that day, drinking coffee and eating toast as I heard the toilet flush and Lucy come out of the bathroom.

"Morning sweetie," I looked up at her pale face, "You ok?"

"I'm fine, Carter. Why wouldn't I be?" She rolled her eyes and poured herself a glass of juice.

"Okay, just asking," I knew her cycle, well I've been living with her for so long it was hard not to notice, and I mentally noted she was due, and had been for a long time.

"I'm sorry," She sighed and sat next to me, holding her juice as she cuddled her knees into her chest.

"You okay?" I reached over and rubbed her shoulders.

She let her eyes drift far away, "I, um, I'm worried."

"What about?" I stood up, walked behind her and massaged both her shoulders, noticing how stiff they felt.

"Um, something isn't right," She pulled away from my hands and looked me in the eye.

"With what?"

"I don't know how to say it."

The tone of her voice made my stomach jump, "Lucy, what is it?"

"I'm late… very late actually."

"You said you didn't have to be at work until 7."

"No Carter, not that!" She stood up and stormed back into the bedroom.

"Late as in…Lucy, oh my god!" I stared at her, as all this news hit me like a truck. "Well how late!"

"I don't know…a month… two…?"

"Lucy! Two months! Why didn't you tell me sooner!" I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath, trying to think, "Wait, we've been careful!"

"Have you?" She asked.

"Ummm it's a two person job," I looked at her with my eyes wide.

"No, I'm not on the pill, you know that."

I sighed and sat in a chair and ran my hand over my face, "I have been careful."

"Okay, you need to calm down, it's not like I haven't skipped a period before." She started to walk to our bedroom to get ready for work. I followed.

"Well, have you been having any morning sickness?" I asked as we both entered the room.

"I feel a little queasy right now," She said as she pulled her shirt off over her head.

I gazed at her stomach, "You don't look pregnant."

"It's not like I would be showing now anyways," She sighed and began to change her pants.

"Well." I sat on the bed and watched her, while I also tried to think of what it would be like if she was pregnant, and the only thing that came to my mind was how wonderful it'd be. "Do you have any tests?"

"No, it's not like I just keep those around."

"Then, let me draw some blood at work," I stood up and pulled her hands to me.

"I don't want the whole hospital to know," She looked at me sadly, "Think we can wait until after our shifts?"

"Yeah, I'll pick one up on my break."

"Thank you," She enfolded her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest. I kissed the top of her head and slowly stroked her back, smiling to myself that I…I may be a father.

.:An hour later:.

We got in the jeep, and were on our way to work. Lucy barely said anything else all morning; she became paler as she lost herself in her thoughts

"Lucy, you need to stop worrying," I said as I looked over at her.

"I can't! There's a lot to think about, John."

"Like what?" I asked smiling.

"Well, except for the fact that we can't afford a baby, I am still a resident, working 12 hour shifts, you are chief resident and work just as much. Our apartment isn't baby proof-"

"Wo wo wo, Lucy. We don't even know if we are pregnant yet, don't go freaking out yet," I took hand in mine, and felt it relax.

"I guess, I'm just scared," She sighed and laced her fingers through mine.

"You're concentrating on the bad parts, what about the good parts?" I knew I've been thinking of them all morning.

"Like what good parts…me getting fat?"

I laughed a little, "Well, not only that, but maybe we're going to have a baby…"

Smiling, she said back, "Yeah, babies are all well and good. But that involves us being parents."

"Yeah, I know!" I reached over and rubbed her shoulder blade.

"Why are you being so happy about this?"

"What's not to be happy about, Lucy? We could be having a baby, and if we're not that's fine too, just the thought of having it someday…I don't know." I shrugged and drove as I heard her sigh.

"I'm going to be a pumpkin for the wedding," She whined.

"A cute pumpkin." I parked and we both walked out of the car, hand in hand. Into the hospital and I walked her to the elevator.

"So, I'll catch you later?" She asked as she pressed the elevator button.

"Yeah, I'll pick it up on my break," I put my hands on her waist and couldn't help but try to notice the size of her stomach.

"Alright, I love you." We kissed while the elevator doors were opening.

Once she was inside I said, "Lucy…don't worry so much."

She smiled and waved before the doors shut in her face.

.:Little Later:.

"Hey!" I heard Abby call to me with a

I turned around and faced her, "What?"

"Nothing," She said at the same time as she flipped through a chart.

"Abby, what do you want?" I asked laughing.

"For you to sign this." She handed me a form and I signed it, while she took the forms back out of my hands she started again, "Why are you in such a good mood?"

"Nothing special," I patted her on the back and walked away.

"Oh come on! I have to pick lice out of your patient's hair and you can't even fill me in on something juicy." She walked in front of me backwards while she talked.

"It's nothing, I just may be getting something."

"Oh like a pony?"

"With a tone like that, you won't know anything."

"Come on, Carter."

I took her arm and pulled her into the lounge.

"This is big, huh?" She asked as she got coffee.

"Umm maybe, I hope so," I said, still smiling while I reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a yogurt.

She smiled at me and cocked her eyebrows.

"Lucy may be pregnant," I said, and then heard how great it sounded… Lucy, my Lucy, pregnant.

Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes widened, "What!"

"Yeah, um, she has a feeling and we're taking the test today after our shifts."

She shook her head, "So…you want her to be?"

I nodded, "She's not so sure… Abby, please don't tell her I told you, she'd kill me."

Again, she shook her head, "No, I won't… but good luck, Carter." She reached up and hugged me.

"Thanks," I said as I let her out of my arms. "I have to go pick up the test. So I'm on my break, I should be back in an half of an hour."

Abby waved bye to me as I ran out of the hospital, down the street and into the convince store.

"Hello, Sir," Greeted the clerk, "Do you need help with anything?"

"No thanks, I think I got this," I gave her a smile and headed down the women's isle. Wow, there were a lot of tests, and beside those tampons and pads. I never had the desire to be in one of these isles, and now I remembered why.

I picked up boxes, read the back, put it down, and grabbed another one. Must have been five times before the clerk came and asked, "You don't look like you have a handle on this."

I looked up at the African American women and shook my head while I laughed a little, "I'm confused, is what I am."

"Well, this one always worked for me," She held up a pink box, I took it out of her hand and read the back… still confused. But if it worked for her…

"Uh sure, why not?" I looked at it one last time before walking to the counter to check it out. There, I also picked up a candy bar, just incase my wish came true.

"By the looks of you, honey, I'm guessing you want this test to come out blue huh?" She asked as she rung up my items. She was probably around my age, maybe a little older, and with dark skin and hair.

"Yeah I do, but I'm not sure if my fiancé does," I pulled out my wallet and paid for the items.

"Oh honey, she just probably needs to get used to it. But I'm sure she'll be just as happy as you are if it is."

I grinned and took the bag off of her, "Thanks."

As I walked out I heard her say, "And good luck, Sugar."

.: Hours Later:.

"Well, little one, you have nothing to worry about," I said encouraging to my patient.

"But I still have a sore froat!" Said the little 5-year-old boy with a groggy voice.

I started to write the prescription, and smiled at the child, "Yes, but I'm going to give you some medicine. Which is going to make you feel better really fast."

"Thank you, Dr. Carter," said the mother as she stroked her son's back.

"Fank you doctor," Repeated the boy.

Then I heard a knock at the door.

I looked towards the door and said, "Come on in."

"Hey," Said Lucy as she entered the room. "Can I talk to you for just a second?"

"Yeah, just hang on." I handed the prescription to the mother. "Come back if it gets any worse and make an appointment with your family doctor. See ya, slugger." And then, walked out with Lucy, "Everything okay?" I asked.

"Um, no, not really. Dr. Myers wants me to stay after," She said shrugging.

"No, Luce, come on. We've been waiting for this all day. If I could take it, I would, but I need you there. You're tired, I'm tired, let's just go," I took her hands and pulled her closer to me.

She licked her lips and sighed, "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you." I watched her as she ran back up the stairs.

"The little boy okay?" Asked Abby as she snuck up behind me.

I looked at her then signed the patient out, "Yes, he's fine, but I'm afraid you're not."

She looked at me with a questioning look on her face.

I walked over to the stairs to wait for Lucy. I whispered, "Yeah, something about budding into other people's business."

"I just happened to be there, not my fault you and Lucy talk in the middle of the hallway," She took my chart off of me and rolled her eyes.

Once I saw Lucy walk down the stairs, my conversation with Abby was over, "Well…?" I asked.

"Yeah, he said he'd let me go," She sighed.

"Good…good," I took her hands and walked her off the last step, only to see Abby staring at us, "Yes, Abigail?"

She gave me a secret smile and handed me the chart. "One last signature. See ya tomorrow."

Lucy eyed me.

"I didn't say anything! She must have been eavesdropping." I opened the door for her and we walked out into the surprising windy air.

"I just want to get this over with. It's been on my mind all day."

As we walked to my jeep, I looked at her. Trying to figure out if she made up her mind about wanting a baby or not. Once we sat in the car, she started to talk. "I don't even know what I want the test to say anymore," She clapped her hands together and sighed, "I mean a baby would be amazing…incredible."

"That's what I've been trying to say," I rubbed her forearm and felt as she took my hand, while I drove.

"The test should be negative. I mean we're not married yet, working a lot… it makes sense for us not to have a baby now. Am I even making sense?"

Laughing, I said back to her, "Yes. But, I've never been much for stereotypes, or rules on how we're 'supposed' do things. You know me. We can have a baby, though, Luce. Because we're not married for a couple of months don't matter."

She smiled at me and rubbed my shoulder, "If it's in nine months, or nine years, you're going to make such a great father."

I smiled as I parked the Jeep, "Glad you think so."

We walked together, up the stairs, and into our apartment without any words to one another. Just both thinking: what if it's positive.

"Up for a test?" I asked as I pulled the pink box out of the bag and tossed it to Lucy, once we were inside.

She caught it and sighed, reading it, "I guess." And then she walked down the hall.

The next thing I knew, I jumped up, ran to her and held her shoulder right before she entered the bathroom. She spun around and faced me. "I just want you to know, that no matter what that test says, I love you. And will always love you and support you, you're with me now. You don't have to do anything by yourself."

She beamed slightly, and kissed my cheek, "I'll be out soon."

I picked up the blue grocery back, and saw one last item left. I placed it in my pocket, then, I sat back down on the couch and began to flip through a magazine as I waited, but for the minute she was in there, it felt like a century. I stood up and knocked on the door slightly, "Luce, you uh need some help?"

"No," She called from inside the bathroom

"Are you sure?" I yelled back in

"Yes, Carter, this is something I can to do by myself!"

"It's taking you a long time!"

Just as those words left my mouth, she opened the door with a worried face.

"Well, am I a dad?" I asked nervously.

"We have to wait."

"How long?" I asked as she set the test face down on the counter.

"Three minutes… the longest three minutes of our life."

I sighed and sat on the couch, while she stood up and played with her engagement ring.

A/N: Ok I know what you're thinking…a cliffhanger. Well I'm not much for them either but something has to keep you coming back to read this ff.


	12. Trying

So, school started and a big you know what to three AP classes. But, OH! Before that, my computer CRASHED. Seriously, ask anybody. It crashed and I was like in tears trying to get my brother to fix it. And he's like, "What can POSSIBLY be some important on that hard drive." And I like cried, "You don't understand!" So I made him fix this damn thing. And…after some twenty bucks…he did.

So, yeah, It sucks because I never get a chance to write anymore. I work 22 hours on the weekend still at my summer-job. (Boo for Renaissance Festival.) And I still have my REAL job. And school, and dance. My plate is full. But not too full for you, my beloved readers. But, it's my birthday today. (yay me) So I threw my copy of The Scarlet Letter down, and went back to my fanfiction.

Issue number tres. So, we all know I have mucho chapters finished right. Number 42 right now. But one thing goes along with that, I skipped a lot of chapter fifteen. Not that it's very boring or anything, but I had so much good stuff ahead of me. So, sorry. I'm going to try and work on that! So, if I'm late….I'm sorry and will update twice in a week to make it up.

Woo..okay. I wrote this chapter like a year or so ago, but going back and rereading it, and this is muy importante. Like so many things in this chapter come back.

Sorry about the wait, you have NO idea how much I love you for reading this.

A/N: Ok, Lucy's mom is named Barbra and so is Carter's sister…coincidence? Well anywho, I changed the spelling so you won't get confused for the wedding…or other things.

Carter's sister is spelled BarbAra

And Lucy's mother is spelled Barbra

So yeah that's over with, oh well, happy reading!

A/N #2: I guess you can call this a songfic… sure why not? Well the song is Keane 'Sunshine'

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

Ch 12. Trying

Tick, Tick, Tick

The seconds slowly passed by as I stared at my watch. Lucy began to pace, with each tick from my watch; she'd take another step. I watched her, and then I watched my watch and became totally dizzy.

"Luce, sit down, please."

"How much longer?" She asked fast and stopped pacing.

"Thirty-five seconds," I sighed out. My stomach felt twisted inside as I said those words…in seconds, I would find out if we were going to be parents.

She took a seat next to me, and looked at my watch and she whispered to herself. "26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21…"

Her eyes met mine, and we gazed at each other.

14, 13, 12, 11, 10,

I felt sweat beads fall from my forehead, and watched as Lucy nervously chewed her lip.

5, 4, 3, 2…1

A little out of breath, Lucy said, "I waited all day to see that test, and now I don't think I can," She said as she stared at it into the kitchen.

I shook my head, "Me neither…"

She looked at me for a few more seconds, then stood up and walked into the kitchen and stood in front of the test. I followed her and stood in the doorway. She picked it up and slowly said, "Oh."

"Oh what?" I asked as the knot in my stomach tightened itself.

"It's um, negative," She turned around to look at me. The news hit me like a truck.

I sat down on a stool and repeated, "Oh."

She threw the test in the trash and rubbed her hands together, "I guess, I just blew the whole thing over."

I rested my chin on my hand, which was on the counter and stared at Lucy, "Yeah, well, it's good we know."

"Right…. Right." She said slowly and ran a hand through her hair while closing her eyes, only to reveal two tears streaming down from them.

"Oh, Luce." I stood up and enclosed my arms around her, rubbing her back and smoothing her hair, saying over and over again, "Shhh…"

"No, this is stupid," She said as she wrapped her arms around my waist as she rested her head below my shoulder, "I never even had this, and now I'm crying over it. I don't even know why I thought I was, just with Susan and everything…"

"Yeah, I know, they seem so happy," I held her closer and rested my chin on her head.

She backed away from the embrace and wiped her eyes, "So, what now?"

"Whatever you want, Lucy."

"No, this is something both of us have to decide," She said still drying her eyes.

I watched her and shrugged.

"Carter! This isn't something I'm going to let us just let go and not talk about it for a year. What do you want!" She demanded as her voice slightly raised and her face flushed.

"Ok fine, here's honesty. I want kids; I've always wanted kids. You know that. But if you're not-"

She cut me off, "No I am… I am. I know I was crazy this morning, but thinking about it all day. You know, bottles, cribs, toys, just babies, I want to be parents together, both of us."

I nodded and smiled.

"When?"

"Well, I'm ready now," I lost myself in my thoughts and grinned, "I've been thinking about it all day too. Packing lunches, having a real Christmas, tucking them in, having them climb in our bed when they have a bad dream," I stopped myself and shrugged, while she listened to every word I said.

"Like I said before, you're going to be such a great father," After she said that she sat on the stool next to her.

"Only if you're the mother, with me. I'd be lost without you."

"I'm never leaving you Carter."

I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek, "And that's what's going to make us the best parenting team."

She bit her lip as she thought aloud, "I don't think I can wait for a baby after today. But, I really want to be able to fit into my wedding dress."

"That could be a problem," I said as I massaged her shoulder

She nodded and leaned her head on my hand.

"Wait!" I said as I jumped up and ran over to the calendar, "Oh Lucy, you're going to love this!"

Asking she walked behind me, "Love what?"

"Let's change the wedding date!"

"What! Carter we can't-"

"No just listen, we call Monica, change everything around, cancel all the plans and get new ones! We'll have a small wedding, with just our family and the people from work, we can have it," I looked at the calendar, "Like mid June or something, what do you say?"

She looked at me while she took in what I said. "John…" She said unsure.

"Come on! For once be spontaneous!"

She rolled her eyes and started to laugh. "Okay, let's do it."

"Really!" I asked laughing.

"Yeah, really," She grinned, hugged me and kissed me tenderly.

Once we backed away from the kiss I said, "So, we're trying for a baby."

She nodded and brushed her hand through my hair, "Mm hmm."

"When?"

She held me tighter and seductively whispered, "You busy?"

I could feel her face smile, for it was right next to mine, and then her hands cupped my face and held it close, right in front of her eyes. "I love you, Carter," She said as she ran one of her hands through my hair and I felt her nails as the lightly scratched my scalp.

"Lucy, I love you too," I said back as I pulled her arm behind me, into our bedroom, and for the first time, we didn't worry about the thing we worried about all the other times. This time, we hoped that everything we were worried about going wrong, would go right. For us to get pregnant.

.:About Two Weeks Later:.

"Lucy, your hands are shaking," I said as I put both of mine on hers and she smiled nervously.

She flipped her free hand through her hair, "I am just, uh, nervous."

"Don't worry, they are going to love you like I love you." I knocked on the door and looked at Lucy's doubtful face. "What's wrong?"

"You know you're lying," She said as she straightened her shirt, "Your family hates every girl whom you've ever gone out with.

"Like who!" I demanded as I knocked on the door again.

"I don't know…people…Something about an Anna?"

"Oh yeah, I remember her, she was good," I teased Lucy.

Laughing, she elbowed me on the side, "Shut up!"

The butler opened the door and Lucy and I entered the enormous castle.

"Wow," Said Lucy under her breath right before Gamma walked over to greet us.

"Ah, John, how are you?"

"'I'm great Gamma," I kissed her cheek, "You look well yourself, you remember Lucy."

"It's such a pleasure to see you again," Lucy said shyly.

My grandmother smiled, "I'm sure the pleasure is mine. Now, why don't we go in and meet your parents, they've been expecting you, oh and a little surprise," She led us into the dining room. And there sat my mother, father, and oh my god, my sister.

"Johnny!" She exclaimed as she ran up and hugged me. I was so utterly shocked to see her; I hadn't the slightest idea what to do.

"Barbara, what are you doing here!" I asked while she backed away from the hug.

"Well, I got offered this shoot and…" Her voice trailed off looking at Lucy, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't introduce myself, I'm Barbara, Johnny's sister, and you must be his fiancé."

Lucy looked around the room with a small twinge of a smile and nodded, "Yes I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you."

My mother walked over to introduce herself, and my father for that matter to Lucy, "I'm Eleanor Carter, and my ex husband, John Carter."

Lucy smiled her friendly smile, and said, "I'm so glad we finally had the chance to meet."

Sensing Lucy's uncomfortable voice, I put my hand on her back and pulled a chair out for her so we can all get started on brunch.

"So," started Barbara, "Where did you grow up Lucy?"

"A small suburb outside of Pittsburgh."

The butler then interrupted, "Would you like anything to drink madam?"

Lucy looked at me, biting her lip, "Ah yes she'll have an orange juice and myself also thank you." I said.

"No wine?" My mother questioned with that tone in her voice.

She pulled up her chair and placed her hands in her lap, "Oh, no thank you."

This was so not Lucy, being in a place like this. It used to be me, until I met Lucy, and she changed me…maybe not so much changed as made me want to be with her so much, that I changed. I still didn't know… how and why we fell in love. What exactly made a poor girl from the country and a rich little boy from the city, who came from such different families, and with those families, different values, fall in love, and have it last. I knew Lucy and I haven't been together for a long time, but it was still hard for me to imagine how I lived for so long without waking up next to her… impossible.

"And the wedding," My father started, "That's in a few months isn't it?"

"Obviously you didn't check your mail, Dad," I cleared my throat as our brunch was set upon the table.

"Has something changed?" My mother questioned with a cynical voice while she sipped her wine.

Barbara almost spit her fruit salad up, "Oh come on, I live in Paris and I know they changed their wedding date!"

"You what!" My mother yelled towards us.

Chuckles came from my sister's laugh, across the table.

Her blue eyes widened, her grip on my hand tightened all throughout this yelling, and, well, of course laughing.

"Yes, John, I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Gamma said in her soft voice as she reentered the room.

"Well, Lucy and I just wanted to get married sooner, a small wedding, it just suits us better. Well it's June 16th." I looked at Lucy and stroked her back.

"Oh…well then." My mother said under her breath.

All of our heads turned toward my mother, near the head of the table.

I put my fork down. I was ready for it. "What, Mom? This isn't your business."

"You're my son! Everything is my business."

"Eleanor, please just calm down." Tried my father.

"No, John!"

"Oh please! Everything stopped being your business after-" Barbara cut me off.

"Oookayy," said my sister slowly, "Lucy, I know we haven't met before but I'm a photographer and would love to do your wedding, so come with me. Come on." Barbara stood up and took Lucy's hand, "I brought my photo book from the last wedding I did, and I think you'll love it."

Lucy looked over her shoulder one last time at me before walking out of the room.

The room set in silence for a period of time, before I spoke under my breath, "Sure, can't imagine why Lucy wants to marry into this family."

My mother stood up and started to tread across the room, "Oh, John, we're never good enough for you."

"Jonathon, don't talk that way about us," My father said in his mellow voice.

"Not good enough!" I yelled and stood up, "This is the first time you met Lucy in the three years we've been together."

"Yeah, maybe there's a reason for that." My mother said as she again, sipped her wine.

"Oh god, here we go. I know just what you're going to say. She's not a 'Carter', she's not rich enough, and god-forbid she works."

She finally sat back in her chair and continued, "I just don't think she's for you, John, call it mother's intuition."

"Oh please! You'd have to be a mother to have that," I said in a soft voice as I stood up and started to walk out of the room, with one call back, "Don't even bother coming, Eleanor." I stormed out and slammed the door, mad as hell and ran around the house to find Lucy. Minutes later I entered the study and saw her and my sister, sitting on a couch looking at a photo album.

"Is everything okay?" Lucy asked, standing up. She could tell from the look on my face I was not ok.

"We have to go, where is your purse?"

"Um, right here," She picked it up and took my hand, "The photos are lovely, if it's okay with John, I would love for you to picture our wedding."

"Thanks, Lucy. John what happened?" Barbara inquired.

"The usual. Ready Luce?"

She nodded, "Call us Barbara, Maybe we can have lunch before you have to go back to Paris."

Once Barbara said she would, Lucy and I walked out of the house and into the Jeep.

When we were in the Jeep, I started getting questioned, "John, what happened in there?"

I couldn't even answer I was so upset; I had not a single clue how to explain it to her.

"John!"

"What Lucy?"

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Nothing, I'm fine.

"Carter!" I could tell by the tone of her voice she was getting upset, and my anger was rising also.

"Lucy, I said nothing happened! Drop it ok?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes and looked out the window, "You can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Cutting me out! I'm going to be your wife!"

I sighed and looked over at her, "I'm not your patient, Luce."

She rolled her eyes, pissed off, and again looked out the window.

.:Later That Evening:.

After a boring day of doing nothing, and being alone since Lucy got sick of me and went into work for a half of a shift, I was pretty happy to hear buzzing over the intercom, I went over and said over it. "Yes?"

"Hey, can I come in?" Asked my sister.

"Uh, sure, Barbara, come on up." I buzzed her in; she just probably wanted to make peace between the family and I. But to my surprise whenever I opened the door, she was holding suitcases and bags.

"You have an extra bedroom?" She asked slightly laughing.

I took some bags off of her and set them in the living room, "Uh, yeah."

"Or the couch doesn't look so bad," She said as she took off her coat and sat upon it.

Sitting next to her I asked, "Get into a fight?"

"Yeah, you can say that again."

"So bad they kicked you out?"

She shook her head, "No, I left myself. I hope it's okay that I'm here. Where's Lucy?"

"Oh, she got called into work for a little. She wasn't so happy with me anyways." I stood up and got myself and Barbara a soda from the refrigerator.

Taking the soda from me, and opening it she responded as if she's known Lucy's and my whole history, "You're not talking to her about this are you?"

"She's a psychiatrist, she wants to know I feel about every little thing."

"John, this thing with mom and dad and you isn't so little," She took her coat off and rested her feet on the couch.

I shrugged and took a gulp of my soda, and then asking Barbara, "So what was your fight with them about?"

"I kinda defended you, by saying how mom doesn't even want to get close to us anymore. Then she got mad, cried, and I couldn't be around to see that again." She looked at her soda can with her usual bright face filling in guilt.

"Well, you're right," I stood up and stretched my arms out.

"No. I was wrong. Why are you so mad at them? Especially mom."

"Barbara, she left us! Right after our brother died, she left us…."

"Well, her son died, John! She couldn't just hang around the house forever, it was too much!"

"Well what about me? I was just a kid-" Then, I was cut off.

"Yeah, you were just a little boy who watched his big brother die. You would act the exact same way."

"No, I wouldn't…"

She argued back, "Yeah, you would! Suppose you and Lucy have a kid, or I don't know, a lot of kids, and you slowly watch one die…imagine that for a few seconds."

I closed my eyes. Lucy and I were trying for a kid, and she was talking about it dying… "I wouldn't live in a bubble forever. I mean it would be hard, but how hard would it be to love again!"

"Why aren't you mad at me instead, Johnny?" She asked with her head bowed down at her eyes welling.

"What?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but the door opened interrupted her. Lucy walked through, and saw us, "Hey, Carter, oh and um, Barbara. Hi."

She quickly dried her eyes and put on a fake smile, "Hi Lucy, how are you?"

"Good."

I stood up and kissed Lucy on the cheek, "Is it okay if Barbara stays here for a while?"

She nodded, "Yeah it's ok." Her blue eyes looked deep into mine, as if trying to figure out what I've been thinking about. Then, she looked around the room and back at me, "I'll just be doing some laundry, if you need me." She patted me on the shoulder and walked into another room and shut the door.

I sat down next to Barbara, while watching the direction Lucy went off into.

"She really loves you."

I laughed slightly and ran a hand through my hair, "She's the only one, you know, that ever stayed around long enough to figure me out. Well, except for Gamma."

My sister smiled slightly and sniffled, "Do you remember what I promised you at Bobby's funeral?"

I shook my head.

"We were sitting outside, you know just to get out of the room for a while. You must have been like eight or something. And you were crying. So I hugged you, and I told you, I would never leave you."

Whenever she said that, I slowly remembered that night. It was cold outside and we both shared our Dad's jacket. We were sitting on the concrete stairs…and I remember her crying too. "I remember now."

"And then, like two months later, I got accepted to this photography school in Paris, and I gave not a second thought about accepting."

I nodded; slowly memories from that painful first year without Bobby were shooting back at me.

She shrugged, "I left my baby brother. And I saw you, once every other Christmas until you went to college, your med school graduation, Grandpa's funeral, and now. Mom and Dad were always going on trips so you were stuck with Gamma. Which is probably why you two are so close. But still, I couldn't handle Mom and Dad crying, and the pain, and memories of Bobby, it was too much for me. And I didn't even think about how harder it would be for you."

I sighed, watching her spill her soul out to me, "Barbara, it wasn't your job to be there for me."

She dried her eyes on her shirtsleeve, "But I should have. I'm sorry."

"I never held anything against you, Barb. I just wished I could go with you."

She laughed slightly, "Now you're this doctor, who's engaged, and still damaged…because of me."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," I took her hand, "I'm not so damaged."

"I'm sorry, John."

"Barbara, I forgive you. But don't worry about it. You're here now aren't you?"

She nodded and smiled.

"And you're going to be photographing my wedding for free?"

Laughing, she nodded again.

"Then, we're even." I stood up and picked up a few of her bags, "The guest room is right there, just help yourself to anything. I have to go make up with Lucy."

She wiped away the last of her tears, and with that, the remainder of her guilt. "Or make-out ."

"Ha ha!" As I walked down the hall and into our room, I could hear the soft mellow sounds of Lucy's new favorite CD playing, Keane. I walked into the bedroom to see Lucy folding clothes and putting them away neatly.

"Everything okay with Barbara?"

I nodded and sat on the bed, "Yeah, she just got into a fight with my parents."

"Oh," she said simply, folding and putting more clothes away.

I watched her for a little, "Come here." I pulled her hand towards me and sat her on the bed next to me. "I think I owe you an apology," I sighed deeply and looked at my to-be-wife. She rubbed my shoulder and could tell something was bothering me, "When it comes to my family… especially things dealing with Bobby… I… I don't know how to talk about it." Although, I wasn't very good at it, I loved talking to her. Just the way she listened. She wouldn't blink or concentrate her attention on anything else but taking in every word I'm saying. I rubbed her knee while she lightly scratched the back of my neck; this was how she got me to talk. "My parents were gone a lot after Bobby died. And then Barbara moved to Paris, it got lonely a lot. So my mother wasn't there for me then, and I resent when she tries to bud into my life now when I don't need her." I stroked a small piece of her sun blonde hair, finishing what I was saying.

"I didn't even know about your brother until like our first January together…he was a big part of you."

I lost myself in a trance and thought. "He still is a big part of me…I'd be so different if he were still…" Twenty-some years later, and I was still wishing he never got sick.

"Carter, I don't want to force you to talk about Bobby if you don't want to. Just don't pretend like I'm not here. I just hate when you try to hide things from me, you know you're not very good at it."

I lightly laughed, "So I've been told."

Lucy smiled looking at me. I leaned in and kissed her tenderly, running my hands over her back as the track on the CD player changed to "Sunshine".

Lucy backed away and laughed, and then I laughed, "What's so funny?"

_I hold you in my hands  
A little animal  
And only some dumb idiot  
Would let you go _

"This," she said, still laughing.

I stood up and shut the door, and then got back on the bed.

"Your sister's here," She started as I began to kiss her neck.

_But if I'm one thing  
Then that's the one thing  
I should know  
Can anybody find their home  
Out of everyone  
Can anybody find their home _

"She's a photographer, I think she knows people have sex," I reached my hands under her shirt and rubbed her sides. I cleared my throat and whispered in her ear, "_I hold you in cupped hands, and shield you from a storm_."

She sighed happily and couldn't fight it anymore.

Where only some dumb idiot  
Would let you go

"Practice doesn't hurt." I kept smiling at her.

But if I'm one thing  
Then that's the one thing  
I should know  
Can anybody find their home  
Out of everyone  
Can anybody find their home  
Lost in the sun  
Can anybody find their home  
Come on, come on, come on  
Can anybody find their home

Her lips met mine and we kissed, while she slowly unbuttoned my shirt.

Oh oh-oh-oh-oh  
Can anybody find their home  
Out of everyone  
Can anybody find their home  
Lost in the sun  
Can anybody find their home  
Come on, come on, come on  
Can anybody find their home

While we made out, I reached over Lucy, to the stereo and pressed the repeat button.

Oooooh  
Can anybody find their home


	13. Remember When?

A/N: So, how about that premiere?

All I have to say is the Alex trick was cheap, (Rachel flashback), Linda did A-MAZ-ING, and I did not expect to see Goran first.

-Disclaimer in first chapter-

Ch 13. Remember When?

.:A Week Or So Later:.

I walked up the stairs with the mail in my left hand, flipping over it I couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, Luce," I said shutting the door and walking into the bathroom where I saw her sitting on the counter, "Look what we got in the mail today."

I handed her a big brown envelope and she opened it, "Our marriage license!" She smiled slightly and giggled.

"Yeah, looks like you're really stuck with me now."

Her smile faded and she put our license back in the envelope and handed it to me.

"You know, I hope you know when you said yes, it means you're supposed to be happy about the wedding."

"I am, I'm sorry, I just took another test…"

"Oh…and…"

She sighed and jumped off the counter, "Negative, like the last two."

"Oh, Luce. Hey, Luce." I said catching up with her as she sped off into the living room and plopped down on the couch. "We haven't been trying for that long."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just getting frustrated of waiting," She sighed and laid her head on my shoulder. We were both really tired with wedding plans, trying…trying and trying, working, it was adding up on both of us.

"But hey, you know what's in a month from today?"

She smiled and picked her head up, "I'll be Mrs. Carter."

"Yeah, and if my calculations are right, the next time you'll be ovulating is…"

"Umm, the wedding," She laughed, "Funny how that works out, huh?"

"Everything set for the wedding?"

"Monica called at six this morning to confirm everything and…" She stood up and walked to the kitchen, and pulled a note off the table, "Except she needs to know your best man's name."

I could feel the color drain from my face, "My best man?"

"Yeah, who is that by the way?"

"Wait! I thought since we were doing the whole-small-wedding thing, it was just me and you…"

Her eyes widened and her jaw hit the floor, "No, you're kidding! You're not supposed to do that, remember last time you did that and I freaked out?" She walked over to me, ready to give me a big hit across the shoulder.

I walked into the kitchen, "No, uh, I'm not kidding. Who the hell is your maid of honor?"

"Abby! Abby is my maid of honor!"

"Ok, this can be fixed…"

"Where are you going to find a best man in a month? Oh, and he needs a tux, why didn't Monica tell us this?"

"I haven't been at the last few meetings because I've been working so we can have a nice long honeymoon," I took her hand and tried to calm her down.

"Carter!" She pulled her hands away, "Who are you going to ask!"

"Don't worry, babe, I have an idea," I kissed the top of her head, "Now go get ready for work."

She sighed, "Alright, I'll be in the shower."

I lightly spanked her ass while she walked into the bathroom, "I'll join you in a few."

She laughed and turned her head, winking at me, and then walked into the bathroom.

I picked up the phone and dialed a not so familiar number, listening to the phone ring, and ring, I became a little nervous, and then the familiar voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, Luka, I kinda need a favor."

.:June 15th:.

The nerve wracking, yet exciting rehearsal and we all sat around at the restaurant inside of a hotel. Lucy was dressed beautifully; in a dark blue dress which made her eyes, if possible, even a deeper blue. She's been a mix between freaking out and laughing the whole night. And me…I could hardly even keep still. Barbara was going picture crazy. Every five minutes, or any time I kissed Lucy, a bright flash of white light followed. Lucy's mother Barbra cried a lot, but she was happy.

My father, grandmother, and even my mother showed up. Luka, (who agreed to be my best man), Abby, Susan, (who was showing a lot by now, and Luka could barely concentrate on the duties of being my best man when he was so busy worrying about Susan), Doug and Carol (who STILL weren't married), and their twin daughters Tess and Kate became our flower girls, Mark, Elizabeth, Ella, Rachel, Chunni, Chunni's date, and lastly Monica was there, to keep it all under control. So, the small private room, which was only meant to hold about 10 people, held about double that, with kids screaming, people laughing, it was great. Lucy looked at me from across the table with this smile on her face and sparkles in her eye, I smiled back and our moment was interrupted by Monica tapping on her glass with a spoon and then she looked towards me, which from our last rehearsal for the rehearsal meant I had to make a speech.

So I stood up held my glass in there air and started, "Okay I know it's only the rehearsal dinner, so don't expect much of a speech here-"

"Carter, we didn't expect much of one in the first place!" Yelled Doug, and then Carol's loud and contagious laughter followed.

"Oh yeah, Doug, well I'll be using an altered version of this for your wedding. So I guess tomorrow is the big day huh? And I'm nervous as hell, but I'm guessing that's how I'm supposed to feel…Ahh sorry, Monica, I worked on my vows for tomorrow more then this. But, I just wanted to thank everybody for coming, especially on such short notice. And a lot of you guys are in question for why we did exactly change the date. And contrary to popular belief, it's not because I 'knocked her up'. Okay, Chunni?" I gave her an eye knowing the rumors she's been spreading.

"I'm just saying!" She yelled back.

I shrugged and continued talking, "But, we thought why wait an extra two months to complete something that we both waited forever for-"

And again Doug's voice interrupted me, "Yeah, Carter, how much are you paying her for this exactly?"

Then, I heard Lucy giggle, and my face turned red, "No, Doug, she's the one that's paying me believe me." Before I could continue I heard the "awes" from the women, "So, since I'm out of things to say, Monica's giving me a look, and I'm starting to get dizzy from Barbara's camera, and before Doug makes another joke, I just wanted to say," And then, I turned to Lucy, "That I love you, and am, beyond thrilled to share our life together." Our family and friends clapped, Lucy stood up, hugged her arms around my neck, and kissed me.

.:Later That Night:.

We stood outside, hand in hand and a slight breeze blew her hair in the wind.

"So, uh, I guess this is like our first night apart in a while, huh?" She shivered slightly.

"Cold?" I took my coat and laid it over her shoulders, "Yeah, I know. I'm going to miss you."

She sighed, "Me too, but by this time tomorrow…"

"We'll be at the Penthouse at the top of this hotel."

"And I'll be your wife…"

"Forever," I smiled and hugged her tight. I could feel her arms grip tighter around me. I backed away and looked at her, "So, you'll be okay in the hotel?"

"Yeah. Abby, my mother and myself are sharing a room on the bottom floor. Will you be alright at home?"

I nodded, "Luka's staying in the guest room to make sure I don't go completely nuts."

"Nervous about marrying me, huh?"

I shook my head and rubbed her shoulders, "No, excited, very excited."

"Me too."

I sighed and looked at Luka pointing at his watch, "I guess, I better go."

"Yeah, me too, I still have to get my nails done."

Our lips met and we kissed for a long time before letting go of one another.

"So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll be the one in the white dress," She kissed my cheek and started to walk into the hotel.

"Hey, Luce, wait!" She turned around and looked at me, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Carter." She waved and walked into the hotel.

I watched her go for a while before Luka came up behind me.

"Ready?"

"Uh,yeah. Let's roll and rock!"

Luka looked at me oddly then laughed a little, "Okay."

.:Even Later That Night:.

"So, it's the night before your wedding, shouldn't we be like surrounded by strippers and getting drunk?"

I looked at him up from my beer, "No, that would be the bachelor's party…"

"Oh, and we aren't having one of those…why?" Asked Luka as she stood up and walked around my kitchen.

I eyed him, "Uh, because Lucy and I changed the date of our wedding."

"Oh, that's right." Luka sat down across from me and sipped his beer.

"Thanks, for being my best man on such short notice."

"No problem. I'm here to help and I get a free beer for the night. Eh?" He again, stood up and walked around, "So why did you change the date?" His thumb scratched the label of the beer bottle.

Smiling, I rolled the beer around in its bottle and watched it swirl. "We're trying."

My best man smiled big and sat across from me, "Wow! For a baby?"

I nodded, "Yeah, for about three months now. She's ovulating tomorrow…so…."

He smiled and looked at his hand, which was sitting on the table and lost himself, "Our honeymoon is when, uh, Jasna was conceived, so… good luck."

I looked at him and nodded, "Must be good luck." Luka smiled and looked at his beer, "And Susan?" I asked while Luka trailed his finger around the glass bottle.

"Ah, that was a one-time-thing, and completely unrelated."

I never liked Luka much. Well it's not like I disliked the guy, but we were different, very different, or so I thought. But when I saw the reaction to just the mention of his daughter, I knew how wrong I was.

"So, were you as nervous as I am?"

His strong laughter filled the room as he nodded, "Yes! I thought I was going to explode. But, trust me, once you see her walking down the isle," He raised to throw his beer can away, and mine also, "You remember it's not about the wedding, it's about her and you."

I nodded, "I'll remember that."

"You and Lucy wrote your own vows?"

I nodded and walked into the living room, "Yeah, think I need to practice?"

He shrugged and followed, "Couldn't hurt."

"Ok, just let me get my note cards," I walked to my messenger brown bag that I carried to work everyday and opened it, "Oh crap!" I dumped it out onto the floor, "No! No! No! Ahh shit!"

I heard Luka's footsteps as he walked down the hall, "Missing something?"

"Yeah, my note cards!"

"You don't have them memorized at all?"

"Yeah, I do. Ok um…" I began to pace, "Lucy, I never-wait no! Lucy, you are-damn that's not it either. Oh yeah! Lucy, I'll never…" I sighed and looked at Luka, as shocked as he looked, "Okay, they must be in my locker at work. I'm going to grab them."

"Want me to come?"

I shook my head, "No. One of us should get some rest." I grabbed the keys off the coffee table and ran into my jeep.

.:Twenty Minutes Later:.

I ran into work as fast as I could and found my locker. There, I spun my combination.

37-47-23

It opened with ease. And there, laid my two note cards on the shelf, I grabbed them, shoved them into my pocket and headed for my way back home, trying not to be seen but failing miserably.

"What is this like a pre-wedding party?" Yelled Chunni.

"Ha ha, No. I just forgot my note cards, and I was never here."

"You know that Lucy's here right?" She asked flipping over a chart.

"What is she doing here!" I walked up to admit to question Chunni.

"I don't know. She's on the roof though."

I stood in my place and thought for about a second before I ran up the stairs and onto the roof. Only to see Lucy, which had so reminded me of all the times we sat up here.

"Lucy, what the hell are you doing here?"

She spun around, shocked. (Like me) And her blue eyes sparkled, like they always did in the moonlight, just like every other time we sat up here, "I think I should be asking you the same thing."

I sat next to her and took her hand in mine, "Forgot something. You?"

"Ditto." She responded. And became distracted by the city lights, then she spoke again, "I lied to you."

"When?"

"When I said I never saw myself getting married."

"I know," I fiddled my hands in my pockets.

"You know!" She looked over at me stunned.

"Yeah, I mean not then. But, that was your tough-girl cover."

"Hmm…"

"But if you ever lie to me again, you can look for another rotation," I sternly joked at her.

She smiled and looked at me, "I remember hating you so much up here. You were so hard on me for something so stupid like an IV. Then, like right after that, when you told me I fought the good fight. When you held me while I cried, I realized you weren't such a bad guy. Then, that one time, when we talked about marriage and our parents' marriage…or well not-marriage in my case. I never thought I'd be sitting up here the night before my wedding…and getting married to you."

I stroked her cheek and looked into her eyes, "Me too."

She shook her head, "If somebody would have told me then I would marry you, and be trying to get pregnant with you… I would never believe them."

I snickered a little and agreed, "Me neither."

She sighed at stood up, "I still can't believe it."

"That we're getting married?" I followed her action and also stood up.

"That you're marrying me," Her shoulders shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged, "I really don't even know, the last few years have gone by…"

"So fast," I finished her sentence, "But, I wouldn't change anything."

Lucy shook her head as her hair flew from side to side, "Me neither."

I picked up her hand and looked at it, "Nice nails."

She laughed, "Thanks, Abby's friend came by the hotel room." She paused and giggled a little more, "Carter, what are we doing up here?"

I mirrored her laugh, "I have no idea, but we can't be up here for much longer because, in forty-nine minutes, it will be midnight."

"Oh yeah, the bad luck thing," She pulled my hand and started to walk toward the stairs.

"So, I'm guessing you want me to take you to the hotel too?"

"Unless you'd like me to take the eL alone at night…"

I rolled my eyes and held the door open for her, "Then, let's go!"

After I dropped Lucy off at the hotel, and we kissed for the last time as just fiancés, I went back to our apartment; Luka fell asleep on the couch. So after I stood in front of our mirror, and practiced my vows over and over again, I finally felt tired, and was able to get a half decent sleep for tomorrow.


End file.
